Campaign Thread

[bhu]

RUam

Outside your room appear to be more confused people like yourself.  Next to you is a human man led by a male elf maid in a dress.  On the other side is an embarassed elf like woman in a pink negligee led by what looks to be a catgirl.

Ruam, Venn, Flay

You are all now confronting one another in the corridor of what appears to be a sizable Inn with your respective maids.

[Flay Crimsonwind]

Looking back and forth down the hallways and up the hallways, an irritated look starts to appear on Zachs face. Muttering to noone in particular, 'this place is a madhouse,' he does take a moment to observe the elfish woman, and the negligee she has on. After taking that moment, he turns back to his maid, "Alright Glenda... where are the stairs? I have to meet someone downstairs, in what I presume is the lobby. And why is this whole place pink?" Casually swinging his coin bag from side to side, for lack of anything else to do with it, he notes the others standing with maids in similar ridiculous outfits and similarly ridiculous maids. Other newcomers? Kidnapped, or like himself volunteered?

OOC: Do we stop using spoilers now?

[bhu]

FLay, RUam, Venn

"Only the areas for receiving new kidnap victims are Pink.  It's tradition.  Personally I think the local Gods just have a screwed up sense of humor.  The stairs are this way at the far end.  We'll all be going to the common room for eating breakfast where you will meet the cities Sheriff.  He'll give a brief explanation of whats happening, then we'll get you some clothes, a more permanent place to stay, answer any questions you may have, and get you hooked up with some employers so you can start earning money.

OOC: I was gonna drop spoilers once everyone finally got together.

[Nanshork]

"Then please remove this collar and show me where the other cats are."

[Flay Crimsonwind]

"Personally, I think you're right about the gods. Alright, well if we have to meet the local law, let's get to it; I've got a job to do. Lead the way, Glenda..."

[Ruam]

I look up at the larger people, shrug my shoulders and absently scratch my bill Breakfast sounds nice.

[bhu]

nanshork

The giant woman thing easily scoops you up, removes the collar and carries you out into the hallway.  She nearly trips over a man in a pink robe, and an elven maid who looks fairly girlish but smells definitely male.

nanshork, ruam, venn, flay

As Glenda turns to lead you Zachary, another maid steps out of a room and nearly trips over her.  The maid is fairly human looking but is composed of massive corded muscles.  She is holding a cat.

[Flay Crimsonwind]

Zachary thinks to himself, 'Hmmmm, Cat....' And shakes his head. In shaking, he notices again the 11 on the door, punches it, and continues after Glenda.

[VennDygrem]

By the way, I'm actually wearing a bedsheet wrapped around me, so you guys technically don't see the negligee.

Alcy doesn't look up at anyone, keeping her eyes on the ground.

She mutters, "Hmmph, some sense of humor..."

[bhu]

nanshork, ruam, venn, flay

You are all led downstairs into the common room for breakfast.  As you were all on the same floor you end up sharing a table.  Maids come by to confirm your food choices, and ask what your race normally eats.  The room is a mix of various creatures of every description.  There are many short humanoids that those of you who have not seen before quickly learn are called 'Gnomes', and the maids are of varying races (though there is a substantial elven minority).  Things are a little loud, but a large human who seems to be in charge has a group of armed guards quieting fights that break out and keeping things in order.  They appear to be waiting for everyone to show up.  Looking around you see many odd things.  What appears to be an underage elven boy in buttless chaps indiscreetly making out with a mature female orc warrior (which has since stopped as it was causing many of the fights).  What appears to be a minor Demon staring dumbfounded into space in what is likely shock.  A hideous tentacle monster who keeps having to be chased away from the maids.  An intelligent Dire Ape who has been told that if he flings his own one more time he's being thrown off the edge of the city.  Yes they said 'off'.

[Flay Crimsonwind]

Thinking quietly, Zach hopes the city is floating, and isn't surrounded by something lethally lovely. Mainly, he tries to ignore the whole setup of ridiculousness, and calmly look for the cats he's supposed to be meeting. His head doesn't feel any better though, and so of course the fights and yelling and horrific images in his head from his surroundings aren't helping it at all.

[bhu]

Sir Shadow

You awaken on a large pile of fluffy pink pillows.  Apparently you have appeared there in a burst of smoke as you are surrounded by it.  As you wave about to clear it you notice you are in kitty form wearing a collar of some sort.  When the smoke clears completely you see you are in a pink room, and across form you is a table with a pink sack and a card bearing your name.  Standing shocked and possibly frightened in the doorway are maids of various races whom you apparently surprised as they were entering to clear the room.   As one they look at you with wide limpid eyes and say "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

They are obvious cat fans.  You've met their kind before and know they will want to hug you.  One of them also has a tray of food. 

[bhu]

Solara

You wake up in a pink nightgown and shawl.  The bed is pink, the room is pink, everything but you is pink.  The room is fairly featureless except for a dresser with a card in your name on top along with a pink sack.  The door to the room opens and a lizard woman in a frill maids costume (you know the humans wear them anyway) asks if you would like a complimentary Cream Tube while holding up a tray of pastries.

[solara]

Savorel looks around herself frantically, throwing off the covers and plucking at her nightgown and shawl in despair. "What is a Cream Tube? And where do I get real clothes?" Savorel looks at the pastries in disgust for a moment before adding, "What are those for?"

[Sir Shadow]

Bartholomeow's eyes open wide, as his quickly casts Invisibility on himself to escape the huggies! Then, in the confusion that is likely to follow, he will leap over to the table and grab the sack before dragging it under the table.

[bhu]

Solara

"Uh..these pastries are Cream Tubes.  They're for...eating.  Look are you okay?  I know getting brought here is incredibly disorienting, but most all of us have had to be through it at one point.  Most of the time when the God kidnaps us it's for a reason, and he usually gives you a hint in the card he leaves for you.  I'm here to take you downstairs for breakfast after which we'll get you some real clothes and explain whats happening hopefully.  The best I can give is some advice and a hug."

She looks a little spooked by you.

[bhu]

Sir Shadow

"Quick shut the door before he gets out!" SLAM!

"Heeeeeeereee mister invisibah kitteeee.  We need to chat with you.  You need to read the card your kidnapper left for you so we can go downstairs for breakfasts!  We have nummy Salmon Puffs for you!

Another Maid: "What if he doesn't speak common?"

"Your right.  Lets try Orc.  GRAEARRGHH!! GURRGLE VON BLECHENFLOERT!"

Yet Another Maid: "Thats not Orc.  What the fuck was that?  Don't some of the girls speak Cat? We could get one of them?"

The sack is full of money.  Lots of money.  Unless you can make a Move Silently check it's gonna make noise

[solara]

"No Cream Tubes, then. Give me a moment, and I'll be ready." Savorel goes to the dresser and picks up the card. Before reading it, she looks to the maid. "I'll be right out." she gives a nod to cue the maid to let her read alone.

[Sir Shadow]

Move Silently: 1d20+10=27
((... like it matters ))

"You fools! I am no mere kitteh! Your puny door cannot hold me--ooo... shineee..." Bartholomeow's maw hangs open as he stares into the golden depths of the bag. Though he wasn't a professional pet sitter, he didn't think he'd mind watching some human if this kind of swag was coming his way.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, his voice would rise again. "Those Salmon Puffs had better be of the highest quality or you shall feel my wrath!" It'd be scary if he didn't sound so adorable.

But before that, he quickly mutter some spookity magical words and cast Detect Magic. He will then inspect his collar and try to figure out what it does and what spells were cast in the creation of it.

Detecting Magic for 3+ rounds and Spellcraft Check to identify the item: 1d20+14=27
DC = 15 + Spell Level of highest spell used in the item's creation.

[bhu]

Solara

She walks outside.

"Dear Savorel,

My apologies for the slightly outlandish method of passage here, sometimes my sense of humor is a little fucked up and I just cant resist.  I am the Jester, Lord and Master of this realm.  Little Ramiirik is with me right now.  I have him hidden in the Godrealm with an appropriate deity providing him company, an education, and ensuring he stays safe.  Even in my realm there are bad things about, and this is no time for children.  

Even a God makes mistakes.  An since I don't interfere I need agents to do the interfering for me.  I've also snatched a few Cat Burglars and associated humanoids that you will find downstairs.  One of them may be a little pissed I saw her naked but she'll get over that.  So look for the other cats.  Once I get you all together I can start giving you nods in the right direction.

Sincerely,
The Jester

PS The Money in the sack is yours.  Since I insist everyone get a fair start, no one will be able to take it or steal it from you.  But after it's spent, you are on your own and must raise your own money.  It won't be hard.

PPS Be careful of Bartholomeow.  He's had a hard life and needs some guidance by a firm and loving hand.  Accent on firm.