Ruam
Member
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 500
First-class monotremancer
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« Reply #760 on: December 06, 2009, 04:56:39 PM » |
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Other things that make me lol: Pastafarianism.... I know everyone else has probably had their lols over it a long time ago, but I only just looked it up (I was wondering if wanting to eat the flying spaghetti monster would be blasphemous)
The Flying Spaghetti Monster actually encourages his followers to eat pasta so it is not a problem. Not a single one of his "8 I'd really rather you didn't" state that you should not eat pasta and neither does the rest of the book (believe me, since I converted a year back I bought a copy of "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"). |
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Prak, the Mad
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« Reply #761 on: December 07, 2009, 01:42:43 AM » |
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but what about eating him? noodly appendages and all...
and would he need salt?
I just found someone on facebook named Wang Dong Cheng. I'm kinda hoping she marries someone with the last name of Johnson or Peter...
wait... Wang might be her family name... damn... so she needs to change her personal name to Johnson, Peter, or OOH Wilhemina, then she can be Wang Dong Willy....
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« Last Edit: December 07, 2009, 02:53:11 AM by Prak, the Mad »
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Ruam
Member
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 500
First-class monotremancer
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« Reply #762 on: December 07, 2009, 05:18:08 AM » |
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Just like you can find Ceiling Cat in every ceiling you can find FSM in every meal of pasta, they are all incarnations of his noodlines, so no, that would not be blasphemy, it is a bit like how Christians believe the their saviours flesh and, simply more awesome and tasty. If you salt the water properly I do not think he will need any.
Speaking of funny names, a friend of the family met an American guy named "Brent Bajs", completely harmless in English but if you pronounce it in Swedish it means "Burnt Poo", that story caused us to laugh ... a lot
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Agita
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« Reply #763 on: December 07, 2009, 06:24:57 AM » |
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Speaking of names...
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Ruam
Member
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 500
First-class monotremancer
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« Reply #764 on: December 07, 2009, 07:08:40 AM » |
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Also, "Pitt" is the Swedish word for "Dick" so most Swede's have laughed at Brad Pitt's name. There is a Swedish joke about how fun it would be if Brad Pitt married the Norwegian journalist Åsne Seierstad since "Åsne" is Swedish får "Donkey's".
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Agita
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« Reply #765 on: December 07, 2009, 07:37:29 AM » |
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Depp is German (mostly Austrian) for moron. I always thought Johnny Depp chose his last name on purpose, but his wikipedia article says he was born witht he name.
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Kuroimaken
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« Reply #766 on: December 07, 2009, 09:41:37 AM » |
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Heh, with my name it gets funny. Cerveira means "of the land of the deer" - deer being the animal most associated with flaming gayness where I live. Guess what happens if you call someone "Bambi" out here.
Then again, I collect nicknames like bored people collect stamps.
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SorO_Lost
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« Reply #767 on: December 07, 2009, 08:28:04 PM » |
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This guy that's been stalking me for YEARS called me again. I was in a weird mood so I answered the phone and started fucking with him.
Short version: I told him I was engaged and pregnant.
He got a little annoyed that I wouldn't cheat on my fiance with him. I should've told him that my fiance was a big angry bisexual black man. That would've sent him over the edge. He's so racist and homophobic. Too easy to fuck with, really.
He doesn't know where I live, thank god! And he doesn't know which city I'm in at the moment-I'm very nomadic, you see.
But it took all my strength to not start laughing as I was feeding him bullshit. After he abruptly hung up, I burst out laughing and felt the need to share his idiocy with you.
Wait wut? You were LYING to me? Dammit all to hell. Oh it's on, it's so on. I was trying to be nice and then you went and did that... |
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Tiers explained in 8 sentences. With examples!Tiers break down into who has spellcasting more than anything else due to spells being better than anything else in the game.
6: Skill based. Commoner, Expert, Samurai.
5: Mundane warrior. Barbarian, Fighter, Monk.
4: Partial casters. Adapt, Hexblade, Paladin, Ranger, Spelltheif.
3: Focused casters. Bard, Beguiler, Dread Necromancer, Martial Adapts, Warmage.
2: Full casters. Favored Soul, Psion, Sorcerer, Wu Jen.
1: Elitists. Artificer, Cleric, Druid, Wizard.
0: Gods. StP Erudite, Illthid Savant, Pun-Pun, Rocks fall & you die.
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Kuroimaken
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« Reply #768 on: December 07, 2009, 08:57:44 PM » |
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This guy that's been stalking me for YEARS called me again. I was in a weird mood so I answered the phone and started fucking with him.
Short version: I told him I was engaged and pregnant.
He got a little annoyed that I wouldn't cheat on my fiance with him. I should've told him that my fiance was a big angry bisexual black man. That would've sent him over the edge. He's so racist and homophobic. Too easy to fuck with, really.
He doesn't know where I live, thank god! And he doesn't know which city I'm in at the moment-I'm very nomadic, you see.
But it took all my strength to not start laughing as I was feeding him bullshit. After he abruptly hung up, I burst out laughing and felt the need to share his idiocy with you.
Wait wut? You were LYING to me? Dammit all to hell. Oh it's on, it's so on. I was trying to be nice and then you went and did that... I'd ask why the 20 bucks, but then it would have a similar effect to the Hitler and the clown joke. |
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Graytigeress
Domesticated Capuchin Monkey
Posts: 111
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« Reply #769 on: December 08, 2009, 09:41:07 AM » |
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 Fantastic. Greg sends along this DIY FYI:
"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.
First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.
Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard." |
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 In me the tiger sniffs the rose and watches butterflies! |
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Ruam
Member
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 500
First-class monotremancer
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« Reply #770 on: December 08, 2009, 10:20:45 AM » |
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That made me laugh, a lot.
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veekie
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« Reply #771 on: December 08, 2009, 02:12:31 PM » |
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Awesome trick to pull.
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The mind transcends the body. It's also a little cold because of that. Please get it a blanket. I wish I could read your mind, I can barely read mine. "Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill
To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
There is no higher price than 'free'. "I won't die. I've been ordered not to die." |
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CountArioch
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« Reply #772 on: December 08, 2009, 02:47:38 PM » |
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If you look closely, you'll notice the dummy's hands are on the wrong arms.
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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BobismyRhino
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« Reply #773 on: December 08, 2009, 08:22:13 PM » |
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 He's not very good at being a stalker. He's just persistent. He's learned SOMEWHERE that booty calls are totally appropriate and no really means yes. I blame frat boys. Anyway, he shouldn't be bothering me anymore. We'll see how long he remembers to not call me. And OMG, that christmas decoration is full of win! Hahaha!
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People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.
My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day. |
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bhu
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« Reply #774 on: December 09, 2009, 03:18:50 AM » |
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This is gonna sound weird but have you ever just threatened to rape him with a strapon? That should make most stalkery types think twice unless he's submissive. Yeah you prolly shouldn't listen to advice from cats ... |
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CountArioch
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« Reply #775 on: December 09, 2009, 08:21:32 AM » |
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This is gonna sound weird but have you ever just threatened to rape him with a strapon?
That's hot. |
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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Agita
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« Reply #776 on: December 09, 2009, 09:33:34 AM » |
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BowenSilverclaw
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« Reply #777 on: December 09, 2009, 09:44:07 AM » |
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"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!" You caught a fish. It was awesome.  |
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Kuroimaken
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« Reply #778 on: December 09, 2009, 09:45:42 AM » |
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McPoyo
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« Reply #779 on: December 09, 2009, 09:49:34 AM » |
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Epic win.
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A gygaxian dungeon is like the world's most messed up game show.
Behind door number one: INSTANT DEATH!
Behind door number 2: A magic crown!
Behind door number 3: 4d6 giant bees, and THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF HONEY! They don't/haven't, was the point. 3.5 is as dead as people not liking nice tits.
Sometimes, their tits (3.5) get enhancements (houserules), but that doesn't mean people don't like nice tits.
Though sometimes, the surgeon (DM) botches them pretty bad...
Best metaphor I have seen in a long time. I give you much fu. Three Errata for the Mage-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Barbarian-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Monks doomed to die,
One for the Wizard on his dark throne
In the Land of Charop where the Shadows lie. |
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