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Author Topic: The worst thing to say during sex... 2  (Read 10819 times)
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PhaedrusXY
Organ Grinder
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« Reply #240 on: September 06, 2009, 03:05:45 PM »

"Don't you think this boil looks just like Mother Teresa?"
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A couple of water benders, a dike, a flaming arrow, and a few barrels of blasting jelly?

Sounds like the makings of a gay porn film.
...thanks
Nanshork
Man in Gorilla Suit
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Posts: 2146


BOO!


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« Reply #241 on: September 06, 2009, 05:43:41 PM »

Woman to a man: "Now that I have you all tied up, it's time for you to learn that I have a penis."
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My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self
Prak, the Mad
Donkey Kong
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Posts: 648



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« Reply #242 on: September 06, 2009, 11:22:50 PM »

Woman to a man: "Now that I have you all tied up, it's time for you to learn that I have a penis."

Why is this bad? I wouldn't object to hearing that.
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Vinom
Hong Kong
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Posts: 1414


Rejoice, Bad things are about to happen!


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« Reply #243 on: September 06, 2009, 11:34:07 PM »

Woman to a man: "Now that I have you all tied up, it's time for you to learn that I have a penis."
Why is this bad? I wouldn't object to hearing that.
Woo! Laugh
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A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.
bhu
Organ Grinder
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Posts: 6783


Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy


« Reply #244 on: September 07, 2009, 12:11:37 AM »

Woman to a man: "Now that I have you all tied up, it's time for you to learn that I have a penis."

"Is it supposed to be fizzing like that?  Mine doesn't fizz so I'm assuming this is a bad sign?"
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Sinfire Titan
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You've got one round to give a rat's ass.


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« Reply #245 on: September 15, 2009, 04:37:54 PM »

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Prak, the Mad
Donkey Kong
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« Reply #246 on: September 15, 2009, 05:49:04 PM »

"Hey honey, I got a special quest star for bed tonight, Patrick Swayze!"
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veekie
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WARNING: Homing Miko


« Reply #247 on: September 15, 2009, 08:33:37 PM »

*dies laughing*
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The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."
BowenSilverclaw
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Walking that fine line between genius and insanity


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« Reply #248 on: September 16, 2009, 11:22:49 AM »

Nice, SiFir Big Grin
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"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!"

Quote from: J0lt
You caught a fish.  It was awesome.  
CountArioch
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Posts: 2110


I <3 termites

CountArioch@hotmail.com CountArioch ariochisgreat
« Reply #249 on: September 17, 2009, 12:10:37 PM »


I was requested to come faster on multiple occasions.  It seems that I can be tiring after a while.
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glance

Sacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie
BobismyRhino
Hong Kong
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*baby Bob kiss* MUAH!

stealthveggy@hotmail.com crzyorgnictofu
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« Reply #250 on: September 28, 2009, 06:37:19 PM »

I have two to update with:

Yelling at the dog to shut up, lay down, and to stop licking your feet during happy fun time.

And secondly, quite possibly one of the best things ever said to me after the fun was over: "I hate you. I hate you so damn much."


 Big Grin
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People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.

My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day.
Vinom
Hong Kong
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Posts: 1414


Rejoice, Bad things are about to happen!


Email
« Reply #251 on: September 28, 2009, 07:24:18 PM »

right in the middle, start muttering the gummy bear song like it was a funeral dirge...
Logged

A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.
BobismyRhino
Hong Kong
****
Posts: 1051


*baby Bob kiss* MUAH!

stealthveggy@hotmail.com crzyorgnictofu
Email
« Reply #252 on: October 07, 2009, 10:56:03 PM »

AC had an identity crisis today. He thought he was a british kakapo and said this to me during happy fun time: 

"You are being shagged by a rare parrot."

That ended happy fun time promptly. Laughing too hard tends to ruin the mood sometimes.
Logged


People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.

My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day.
jacemachine
That monkey with the orange ass cheeks
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Powered by Coffee. Driven by Insanity--

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« Reply #253 on: October 07, 2009, 11:05:59 PM »

"Hah! You only THINK that it is my penis... but, it, isn't!"
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Current PbP Games
The Artifact (Prologue) as GM
[d20M] Isle Noir: Bad Karma as GM

The Good, the Bad, and the Undead, playing as Father Ezekiel Ambrose

"When the GM smiles, it's already too late." --Anonymous Doomed Gamer
Vinom
Hong Kong
****
Posts: 1414


Rejoice, Bad things are about to happen!


Email
« Reply #254 on: October 08, 2009, 12:40:17 AM »

AC had an identity crisis today. He thought he was a british kakapo and said this to me during happy fun time: 

"You are being shagged by a rare parrot."

That ended happy fun time promptly. Laughing too hard tends to ruin the mood sometimes.
You lucky rhino
Logged

A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.
bhu
Organ Grinder
*****
Posts: 6783


Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy


« Reply #255 on: October 14, 2009, 02:49:32 AM »

"Man, ugly fat chicks give the best blowjobs...oh shit I said that out loud didn't I?"
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Nanshork
Man in Gorilla Suit
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Posts: 2146


BOO!


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« Reply #256 on: October 14, 2009, 09:50:48 AM »

"Man, ugly fat chicks give the best blowjobs...oh shit I said that out loud didn't I?"

That reminds me of a joke.

"Why do fat chicks give better head?  Because they have to!"
Logged

My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self
Shewolf
Barbary Macaque at the Rock of Gibraltar
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Posts: 166


ucntrdths
« Reply #257 on: October 14, 2009, 03:45:47 PM »

Sad because its true.
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archangel.arcanis
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Posts: 2938



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« Reply #258 on: October 14, 2009, 03:48:45 PM »

i thought it was a result of practice from sucking the meat off of chicken bones.  Devil
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Clerics and Druids are like the 4 and 2 in 42. Together they are the answer to the ultimate question in D&D.
Retire the character before the DM smacks you with the Table as the book will feel totally inadequate now.-Hazren
veekie
Organ Grinder
*****
Posts: 9034


WARNING: Homing Miko


« Reply #259 on: October 14, 2009, 09:35:54 PM »

Well, when dealing with Large creatures, you may have Reach issues...
Logged

The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."
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