|
jacemachine
|
 |
« Reply #100 on: July 06, 2009, 01:42:32 AM » |
|
"See ya next week.... Mom!"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
bhu
|
|
« Reply #101 on: July 06, 2009, 01:48:48 AM » |
|
One side of a very unfortunate telephone conversation:
"Hey Doc, how ya doin? Listen, while I have you on the phone let's say hypothetically I took them fisting lessons my girlfriend was pushing me into. And lets say equally hypothetically the fistee is a reasonably nervous woman living in a bad neighborhood who clenches up when she hears what could be gunfire..."
"yeah..."
"Uh huh..."
"No it's up to the elbow..."
"No we tried grease..."
"Yes it is in her ass, how did you guess?"
"Damn I was hoping to avoid calling the paramedics. Look can we just shoot her up with some muscle relaxers? You still got them horse tranquilizers dont you?"
"Kewl."
*click*
"Honey, we can fix this, but you're gonna haveta burn these sheets when we're done."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
BowenSilverclaw
|
|
« Reply #102 on: July 06, 2009, 03:36:35 AM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!" You caught a fish. It was awesome.  |
|
|
j0lt
Hong Kong
Posts: 1317
Browncoat
|
|
« Reply #103 on: July 06, 2009, 05:51:23 AM » |
|
"This guy at work told me hot sauce makes for a good lubricant!"  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vynar
|
|
« Reply #104 on: July 06, 2009, 11:26:56 AM » |
|
Hang on I forgot the alfredo sauce.
I hope you didn't mind the webcam?
Mind if leave the webcam open so I can talk to Zeke?
You smell like Indianapolis. Isn't it Gen Con? (Never been to that city just heard some jokes about it)
Hang on I have to update my live journal.
Can you put on this bunny suit?
I'm going to need you to put on this diaper.
I'm Rick James bitch!
Good thing I had a contingent enlarge person cast this morning.
Oh hang on I have to tell the internet about that one.
This is the most romantic park bench in the city.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vinom
|
|
« Reply #105 on: July 06, 2009, 01:33:46 PM » |
|
I put on my robe and wizard hat
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Sinfire Titan
|
|
« Reply #106 on: July 06, 2009, 01:39:04 PM » |
|
"This guy at work told me hot sauce makes for a good lubricant!" I've got something for that joke, but I can't post it now (NSFW). Edit: As I said, NSFW. Not very much, but it still is (due to the original site). |
|
|
|
« Last Edit: July 06, 2009, 01:52:30 PM by Sinfire Titan »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
AfterCrescent
Honorary Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 4220
Here After
|
|
« Reply #107 on: July 06, 2009, 01:42:53 PM » |
|
"See ya next week.... Mom!"
Been there, done that. BIMR started hitting me. Mind you, I've said much worse.  At this point, it's a game between us to see who can say the most fucked up thing to put here.  Hang on I forgot the alfredo sauce. Alfredo sauce is delicious. Can you put on this bunny suit? We met my friend's roommate the other week. He's a closet furry. He told us about his 'friend' who was into furry-sex but that he thought it was weird. 'Except for bunnies.' He could understand those...  I'm Rick James bitch! So done that. It's awesome.  This is the most romantic park bench in the city.
"WHAT?! I'm being romantic!" I've got something for that joke, but I can't post it now (NSFW).
This entire thread is NSFW. If it's an image, spoiler it. AC: What's wrong with that? BIMR: I swear to God if you start talking about Magic while we're doing it, I'll rip it off. AC: How could I possibly make Magic sexual? Shewolf: Want to see my Chameleon Colossus? BIMR:  AC  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
veekie
|
|
« Reply #108 on: July 06, 2009, 02:15:20 PM » |
|
Edit: As I said, NSFW. Not very much, but it still is (due to the original site). Ooo, I've seen that one. Looked painful, even for an anthropomorphic chilli girl. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The mind transcends the body. It's also a little cold because of that. Please get it a blanket. I wish I could read your mind, I can barely read mine. "Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill
To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
There is no higher price than 'free'. "I won't die. I've been ordered not to die." |
|
|
|
jacemachine
|
|
« Reply #109 on: July 06, 2009, 03:48:24 PM » |
|
Him - "I think it came off inside you."
Her - "What? The condom?"
Him - "I wish... No. My penis."
Why it isn't a more common practice to bring a leper to bed.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vinom
|
|
« Reply #110 on: July 06, 2009, 03:53:06 PM » |
|
Edit: As I said, NSFW. Not very much, but it still is (due to the original site). Ooo, I've seen that one. Looked painful, even for an anthropomorphic chilli girl. Stop giving me ideas....  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Sinfire Titan
|
|
« Reply #111 on: July 06, 2009, 11:26:36 PM » |
|
BTW, for those curious about the hot sauce ideas here; The way to counter it without amputating is to pour milk on the exposed skin. It should neutralize most of the hot sauce, though the pain will linger for a few hours/days.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Vinom
|
|
« Reply #112 on: July 06, 2009, 11:38:24 PM » |
|
BTW, for those curious about the hot sauce ideas here; The way to counter it without amputating is to pour milk on the exposed skin. It should neutralize most of the hot sauce, though the pain will linger for a few hours/days.
Wasabi neutralizes Capsasin... and by neutralize, I mean it over loads the nerves in you taste buds, and maybe your skin too, so you go numb. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
veekie
|
|
« Reply #113 on: July 07, 2009, 02:45:16 AM » |
|
BTW, for those curious about the hot sauce ideas here; The way to counter it without amputating is to pour milk on the exposed skin. It should neutralize most of the hot sauce, though the pain will linger for a few hours/days.
Unless for some reason you have some injury...like handling hot sauce after handling a cactus barehanded...then it's a week for sure. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The mind transcends the body. It's also a little cold because of that. Please get it a blanket. I wish I could read your mind, I can barely read mine. "Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill
To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
There is no higher price than 'free'. "I won't die. I've been ordered not to die." |
|
|
|
bhu
|
|
« Reply #114 on: July 07, 2009, 05:52:34 AM » |
|
I can't link to it because of it's explicit nature, but theres a webcomic that has a strip perfect for this thread.
Its night and a man is sleeping in a bed.
He awakes to find a giant spider sucking his cock.
The spider looks startled and says "Sorry. I usually shoot you up with the paralyzing poison first. Must've forgot."
Spider leaps out castle window.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Kuroimaken
|
|
« Reply #115 on: July 07, 2009, 10:52:01 AM » |
|
I can't link to it because of it's explicit nature, but theres a webcomic that has a strip perfect for this thread.
Its night and a man is sleeping in a bed.
He awakes to find a giant spider sucking his cock.
The spider looks startled and says "Sorry. I usually shoot you up with the paralyzing poison first. Must've forgot."
Spider leaps out castle window.
This sounds funny enough that I'd love it if you could send me a link in PM.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Shewolf
|
|
« Reply #116 on: July 07, 2009, 12:37:00 PM » |
|
Oh man, I have seen that comic and it is awesome and disturbing |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
K-Mech
Ring-Tailed Lemur
Posts: 14
|
|
« Reply #117 on: July 07, 2009, 01:43:50 PM » |
|
"Now remember, you said if I untied you and let you go, you wouldn't report this to the authorities..."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nanshork
|
|
« Reply #119 on: July 11, 2009, 12:13:02 AM » |
|
"I Rule! at fuckin' my job is truckin' don't stop keep suckin'" is the best thing on that whole graph! |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
