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CountArioch
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« Reply #220 on: September 01, 2009, 10:51:19 AM » |
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This ran through my mind more than once:
"Geez, the only thing you're good FOR, you're not good AT."
To quote Teal'c. "Indeed." Though one might be inclined to ask if this one isn't based on real-life experience. See the vibrator thread. Indeed it was based off real-life experiences, but not the same as the thread mentioned. In fact, the women I've been with that had the "most room", so to speak was also the most skilled in the bedroom. |
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« Last Edit: September 01, 2009, 10:54:55 AM by CountArioch »
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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BowenSilverclaw
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« Reply #221 on: September 01, 2009, 01:23:00 PM » |
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Overheard by someone explaining the meaning of an 'Alaskan Pipeline':
"And if you put corn in it, it becomes an Iowa Tickler!"
And I just had to google 'Alaskan Pipeline'...  |
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"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!" You caught a fish. It was awesome.  |
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CountArioch
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« Reply #222 on: September 01, 2009, 03:17:02 PM » |
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure I never want to either give or receive such an act. Ever.  |
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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Vinom
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« Reply #223 on: September 01, 2009, 03:23:09 PM » |
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Worst thing to say during sex:
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I never want to either give or receive such an act. Ever."
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CountArioch
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« Reply #224 on: September 02, 2009, 10:54:37 AM » |
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I've got a similar reaction when suggesting a girl give me a massage and a "Happy ending". And most women are kind of bitchy about doing that, no matter how many times I've given them the same thing.
If I ever find myself in a place where paying someone for such a service is legal, I'm doing so.
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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BowenSilverclaw
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« Reply #225 on: September 02, 2009, 11:17:48 AM » |
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Okay, forgive my ignorance, but 'happy ending'?
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"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!" You caught a fish. It was awesome. |
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j0lt
Hong Kong
Posts: 1317
Browncoat
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« Reply #226 on: September 02, 2009, 11:19:47 AM » |
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(while grinning and holding a knife)
"You don't have enough holes. Let's make a new one, shall we?"
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CountArioch
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« Reply #227 on: September 02, 2009, 11:32:49 AM » |
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Okay, forgive my ignorance, but 'happy ending'?
Also known as "hand relief". If you catch my meaning. |
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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BowenSilverclaw
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« Reply #228 on: September 02, 2009, 11:56:08 AM » |
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Okay, forgive my ignorance, but 'happy ending'?
Also known as "hand relief". If you catch my meaning. Ah, right  |
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"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!" You caught a fish. It was awesome. |
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CountArioch
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« Reply #229 on: September 02, 2009, 12:05:24 PM » |
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It seems enjoyable, the women I've given massages to then ended like that seemed to immensely enjoy it. Asking for one seems verboten though.
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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BowenSilverclaw
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« Reply #230 on: September 02, 2009, 12:08:30 PM » |
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Yeah, that does suck, and not in a good way...
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"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!" You caught a fish. It was awesome. |
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Bozwevial
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« Reply #231 on: September 02, 2009, 10:38:12 PM » |
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It seems enjoyable, the women I've given massages to then ended like that seemed to immensely enjoy it. Asking for one seems verboten though.
It's about subtlety. |
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PhaedrusXY
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« Reply #232 on: September 02, 2009, 10:42:11 PM » |
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It seems enjoyable, the women I've given massages to then ended like that seemed to immensely enjoy it. Asking for one seems verboten though.
It's about subtlety. I love that comic strip. |
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A couple of water benders, a dike, a flaming arrow, and a few barrels of blasting jelly?
Sounds like the makings of a gay porn film.
...thanks
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bhu
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« Reply #233 on: September 03, 2009, 04:48:53 AM » |
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"So.....I gotta ask here....and I'm not being judgemental or nuthin'...I mean I'm as open minded as the next guy...but uh...why did you try to shove a stick of butter up my urethra while giggling and inhaling a pixie stick? Is there something I should know?"
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CountArioch
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« Reply #234 on: September 03, 2009, 01:46:20 PM » |
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This isn't in the bedroom, but the last girl I dated basically said she didn't want me to go to the ren fair if I wasn't going with her. After I broke up with her. Anyhow, I said that I wanted to have one of my friends around because she was so oblivious to everyone around her that I considered her mildly dangerous and didn't want to be alone with her in any situation where I was impaired (alcohol, injury, etc.) I think that counts  . Unfortunately, none of the cuties in my stable are really able to go to this thing. I might pass this year. |
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She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glanceSacrapos - At First Glance, Eluveitie |
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Ruam
Member
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 500
First-class monotremancer
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« Reply #235 on: September 05, 2009, 05:39:49 PM » |
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I've got a similar reaction when suggesting a girl give me a massage and a "Happy ending". And most women are kind of bitchy about doing that, no matter how many times I've given them the same thing.
If I ever find myself in a place where paying someone for such a service is legal, I'm doing so.
You might want to consider visiting Greece, prostitution is legal there. The government actually had problem during the Olympics since there was so many applications for starting new whorehouses that they were up to their ears in papers. |
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Suzerain
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 523
is on extended leave
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« Reply #236 on: September 05, 2009, 06:07:16 PM » |
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I daresay though, human trafficking and exploitation is a problem everywhere prostitution is legal and/or rampant. If possible, choose only registered prostitutes  And don't go to Las Vegas, ever. I was surprised to see prostitution is legal in Turkey. Of course, the article mentions local governments refusing to grant permits... |
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Kuroimaken
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« Reply #237 on: September 05, 2009, 06:59:44 PM » |
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Not trying to further derail the topic into serious discussion here, but both of those are problems everywhere. Not to say they're not directly related to prostitution... but it's not like the pros are the main cause of it either.
Penn and Teller did an awesome episode on the topic quite a while back.
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Ruam
Member
Bi-Curious George
Posts: 500
First-class monotremancer
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« Reply #238 on: September 06, 2009, 05:34:14 AM » |
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 Damn it, I forgot to return "The old man and the sea" to the library
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Graytigeress
Domesticated Capuchin Monkey
Posts: 111
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« Reply #239 on: September 06, 2009, 03:01:58 PM » |
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Now that I have you tied up, I'm going to go get my knives......
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 In me the tiger sniffs the rose and watches butterflies! |
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