Brainfinger is done.
I'll be going to hell for this next one HOMOSEXUAL CHICKEN KUNG FU "BUCK...BUCK...BUCKAWWWWK!"
While all Chaos Monks are taught the fighting arts, not all of them agree that facing an opponent in a contest of skill is a great thing. Some think humiliating and fucking up his mind is much better. And thus began Homosexual Chicken Kung Fu. Few segments of the population are more notoriously homophobic than warriors, and it's always a sight to see one of them being dry humped by a lunatic in a chicken suit.BECOMING A HOMOSEXUAL
This class requires you to have a little bit of ability as a Chaos Monk. It also require you to have no sense of shame and be more than a little batshit crazy. Being a sadist helps too. ENTRY REQUIREMENTS Class Features
: Body in Flux Feats
: Fists of Confusion, Improved Grapple, Stunning Fist Skills
: Bluff 4 ranks, Hide 4 ranks, Intimidate 4 ranks, Move Silently 4 ranks, Tumble 4 ranksClass Skills
The Homosexual's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Escape Artist (Dex), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), and Tumble (Dex).Skills Points at Each Level
: 4 + intHit Dice
BAB Fort Ref Will AbilitiesWeapon Proficiencies
1. +0 +2 +2 +2 Enrage/Terrify opponent
2. +1 +3 +3 +3 Avoidance
3. +2 +3 +3 +3 Self Defeating Rage
4. +3 +4 +4 +4 Enrage/Terrify opponent
5. +3 +4 +4 +4 Avoidance
6. +4 +5 +5 +5 Self Defeating Rage
7. +5 +5 +5 +5 Enrage/Terrify opponent
8. +6 +6 +6 +6 Avoidance
9. +6 +6 +6 +6 Self Defeating Rage
10.+7 +7 +7 +7 They Call Me "Mister" Chicken Fucker
: A Homosexual gains no new weapon or armor proficiencies. Enrage/Terrify opponent (Su)
: At first level you can mess with people's heads. As a Move equivalent action you can perform some sort of embarrassing or disturbing shenanigans, and it effects an opponent in melee range in one of several ways:
Rage: Your opponent must make a Willpower Save (Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 HD plus Charisma Modifier) or take a -2 Penalty to AC for the duration of the encounter. He will also exclusively pursue you no matter what obstacles are in his path and no matter how suicidal this course of action might be. In other words your opponent will ignore other opponents and do whatever is necessary to attack you in melee.
Embarrassment: Your opponent must make a Willpower Save (Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 HD plus Charisma Modifier) or take a -2 Penalty to attack and damage rolls for the duration of the encounter due to being distracted by internal shame.
Terror: Your opponent must make a Willpower Save (Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 HD plus Charisma Modifier) or take a -2 Penalty to Saving Throws for the duration of the encounter.
At 4th Level you can do this as part of a Feint in combat. You may also use Feint against nonhumanoids or animals without penalty.
At 7th Level this ability becomes more powerful, and the penalty increases to -4.Avoidance (Ex)
: As you do not wear armor you receive extensive training on avoiding being hit/touched. At levels 2, 5, and 8 your Monk AC Bonus increases by +2.Self Defeating Rage (Ex)
: At 3rd level you can mess with individuals who have been affected by your Enrage/Terrify opponent ability. A number of times per day equal to your Charisma Modifier you can make them reroll any roll of your choice.
At 6th Level if your opponent fails a roll naturally you can use one of your daily rerolls to make him injure himself. He takes 1d6 damage and is either Dazed for one round or knocked prone. You gain one additional reroll per day.
At 9th Level if your opponent rolls a natural one on any roll, he takes a -8 Morale Penalty on his next role (this stacks with other Morale Penalties).They Call Me "Mister" Chicken Fucker (Ex)
: At 10th Level any time your opponent fails any roll against you (Saving throw, skill, attack roll, etc) you gain a cumulative +1 on all rolls against him for the next 24 hours (maximum Bonus +10).PLAYING A HOMOSEXUAL
You are a chicken. Well possibly. Either you really think that, or you want others to think that, but either way you do some pretty weird shit. Consequently you're left to your own devices because no one wants to be associated with you, nor do they want the attention of your unique brand of social justice, Combat
: It's rare that you've actually hit anyone or used a weapon that's lethal. You prefer to terrify and humiliate enemies by doing odd things like pooping on them or sexually molesting them during Grapples, regardless of their race, gender, or possible homicidal nature. You pretty much piss them off so badly they defeat themselves. Advancement
: Most Masters of the Slanderous Art of the Chicken all travel a pretty similar path. The only real difference is how you humiliate and terrify people.Resources
: Your resources are limited to what you can steal or what you can harass people into giving you.HOMOSEXUALS IN THE WORLD "Will somebody get this freak off me?"
The world deliberately tries to avoid interacting with you. After all you where a chicken suit (or maybe you're part chicken), you don't bathe often, you act...birdly, and your sexuality is considered odd. And let's not forget you're batshit crazy (or at least try to convince people you are. After all you get to get away with some shit because people have learned to accept your odd nature ("Yeah that wuz Chikin Boy...he uh...he does that sometimes."). Daily Life
: You tend to get free food and money from people as a bribe to get you t go away and pick on someone else they believe is more deserving. Or they threaten to kill you and the true hardcore mockery is on. Notables
: Buckuck (CN Male Human Chaos Monk 6/Homosexual 6), also known as Chikin Boy, is a local treasure. And by treasure we mean eccentric whacko everyone endures. Organizations
: There are few masters of Homosexual Chicken Kung Fu. And since learning it involves long years of humiliation there are almost as many students.NPC Reaction
NPC's are terrified of you. Underline and emphasize terrified. No one wants to be seen with you since people you've successfully humiliated in the past want you dead, and being thought of as your friend is not a good idea. Plus you may decide to humiliate them, and that would be even worse.HOMOSEXUALS IN THE GAME
This class can make people uncomfortable in soooo many ways. Make sure your group is okay with it, and make sure the guy playing it isn't so obnoxious he ruins things for the group Allow with care. Adaptation
: This is definitely for less than serious campaigns. Encounters
: Chicken Fu masters can be encountered damn near anywhere for any reason. They are a weird and unusual lot.Sample Encounter EL 12
: The PC's are drinking on a patio when a strange semi naked man with a beak, who is clad in buttless ostrich feather chaps walks over and begins bawking like a chicken before sucking the Paladin's toes. Their efforts to ignore him only encourage his behavior, and eventually they seem to be haunted by the chicken man at all times of the day and night. Even in the unlikeliest places such as raiding dungeons. Who the hell is this guy, and what has the Paladin done to deserve this?Buckuck
CN Male Human Chaos Monk 6/Homosexual 6Init
: Listen +6, Spot +6Languages
, touch , flat-footed (+1 Dex, +7 Wis, )
66 (12 HD)Fort
30 ft. (6 squares)Melee Base Atk
Chaos Strike (Magic), Unarmed Damage, Enrage/Terrify Opponent Combat Gear
Str 8, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 15SQ
AC Bonus, Body in Flux +2Feats
Combat Expertise, Extra Mutation (Bite, Flexible Body), Improved Feint, Improved Initiative, Tumbling Feint, Fists of Confusion (B), Improved Grapple (B), Stunning Fist (B)Skills
Bluff +10, Climb +4, Escape Artist +5, Hide +5, Intimidate +10, Jump +4, Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6, Tumble +5 PossessionsEPIC HOMOSEXUAL Hit Die:
d8Skills Points at Each Level
: 4 + int Enrage/Terrify Opponent
At level 21 and every 3 levels thereafter the Penalty increases by an additional -2.Avoidance
At level 22 and every 3 levels thereafter your AC Bonus increases by an additional +2.Bonus Feats
: The Epic Homosexual gains a Bonus Feat every 4 levels higher than 20th