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TheWordSlinger
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« Reply #900 on: October 08, 2008, 06:27:10 PM » |
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Wish granted, however you slowly starve to death as part of the rugification process was removal of your teeth.
I wish for heat immunity.
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Currently playing: Forte Lulz, Chaotic EVIL Bard bent on world domination; Canere Potentia, to sing of power.Aralaxax, Warforged Osteomancer, Machines are my people, I wield bones as other wield swords.Randall Gray, she's not sexually confused, honest!Zion "I can make followers, but why bother when people line up for me?"Currently DMing: Real Men Use Their Hands, World's Largest Dungeon "If you can pretend to be a half-orc barbarian or a dwarf wizard then you can pretend to be an alpha male."-Ninjarabbit "The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them."-Douglas Adams " It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer |
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emissary666
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« Reply #901 on: October 08, 2008, 07:29:52 PM » |
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Wish granted; you are locked in a freezer
IWISHIWASN'TUSINGCAPSLOCK
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I make little kids cry
Steady As A Goat
Warning: You may have already been set on fire
Bread does not need a reason
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BobismyRhino
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« Reply #902 on: October 08, 2008, 07:35:36 PM » |
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Wish granted. I sick my bird on your computer keyboard. He pulls off all of the buttons one by one, and then craps on it. There's no salvaging it, trust me.
I wish my bird didn't like destroying computers.
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People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.
My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day. |
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Vas
Ring-Tailed Lemur
Posts: 18
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« Reply #903 on: October 08, 2008, 08:30:59 PM » |
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Wish granted! Your bird turns into a Kea and starts systematically ripping apart every other thing you own or hold dear.
I wish for equal rights and equality throughout the world (heh heh)
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If you\'re an army barber, does that mean you make a living shaving privates?
The definition of Irony: If Terri Irwin drove a Sazuki Stingray
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Elennsar
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« Reply #904 on: October 08, 2008, 08:59:18 PM » |
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Wish granted! However, you are then killed by a priest using a combination of holy water and horse piss (don't ask).
I wish that I wasn't busy right now.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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Vynar
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« Reply #905 on: October 09, 2008, 01:49:31 AM » |
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Granted! You are locked in a pitch black cell for solitary confinement with nothing to do until you die.
I wish that Chemus's werecougar form was attractive older woman instead of the cat.
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Elennsar
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« Reply #906 on: October 09, 2008, 01:51:56 AM » |
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Wish granted! Unfortunately, you find yourself to be blind.
I wish that prisoners on death row played D&D.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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Chemus
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« Reply #907 on: October 09, 2008, 02:01:06 AM » |
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...I wish that Chemus's werecougar form was attractive older woman instead of the cat.
(LOL!!1!)
Wish Granted! I gained the ability to turn from moderately young man into a 'cougar' who was then shot and made into a rug, with teeth removed, and became a vampire. I looked a lot like your mother, and the rug you made of me was very disturbing to her. When I became a vampire, I tried desperately to drink your blood, but only managed to distort your facial features in my attempts to quench my thirst for blood.
I wish I'd thought of the alternate definition of cougar that Vynar recalled.(Damn! I suck at typing fast. Ninja'd again) Wish Granted, Elennsar! All D&D players are now on death row. I wish that I were a faster typist. |
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Elennsar
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« Reply #908 on: October 09, 2008, 02:21:37 AM » |
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Wish granted! Unfortunately, ever post you make has horrible typos which take as long as your posts did before the wish to find and correct.
I wish that it wasn't quite as funny for my previous wish to be granted.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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Vynar
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« Reply #909 on: October 09, 2008, 02:39:08 AM » |
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Penny arcade is kind of hit or miss for me but I just remembered this comic which is on topic: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/8/29/Granted! Unfortunately, you had been hired as a stand up comedian. You fail horribly and are the laughing stock of the internet. I wish that when bitten by batman you become the werebatman with added laser vision. |
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Elennsar
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« Reply #910 on: October 09, 2008, 02:53:39 AM » |
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Wish granted! You are also killed by a priest using holy water and horse piss.
I wish that I could convince people that playing role playing games is good for their mental health.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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RobbyPants
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« Reply #911 on: October 09, 2008, 07:58:13 AM » |
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Wish granted. Everyone decides they'd rather have poor mental health and decides not to play.
I wish it didn't snow so much here.
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My balancing 3.5 compendiumElemental mage test gameQuotesIt is a shame stupidity isn't painful. Totally true. Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment. Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?" I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife. A dull, rusty knife. A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife. Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: **** I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet. When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!" Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
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Vas
Ring-Tailed Lemur
Posts: 18
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« Reply #912 on: October 09, 2008, 08:32:53 AM » |
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Wish granted, yet snow becomes the newest currency, and you miss out on a crapload of wealth
I wish I could throw a javelin 600 feet
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If you\'re an army barber, does that mean you make a living shaving privates?
The definition of Irony: If Terri Irwin drove a Sazuki Stingray
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Elennsar
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« Reply #913 on: October 09, 2008, 08:51:36 AM » |
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...it is -very- wrong of me to delight at D&D not being played anymore because of my wish, isn't it? Um, anyway.
Wish granted! Unfortunately, the first time you do so, you kill the Pope. And are crushed by the stampede of people who wish to hug you.
I wish that the Pope was an alien with psionic powers.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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RobbyPants
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« Reply #914 on: October 09, 2008, 09:14:06 AM » |
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Wish granted. He uses his psionic powers to convert all to his alien belief system, and... uh... yeah.
I wish I had a parrot that I trained to swear.
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My balancing 3.5 compendiumElemental mage test gameQuotesIt is a shame stupidity isn't painful. Totally true. Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment. Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?" I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife. A dull, rusty knife. A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife. Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: **** I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet. When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!" Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
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Vynar
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« Reply #915 on: October 09, 2008, 10:14:47 AM » |
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Granted! He swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You are convicted in court.
I wish FDR was wasted during his fireside chats.
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RobbyPants
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« Reply #916 on: October 09, 2008, 06:40:25 PM » |
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Granted. The president gives his well-remembered speech "The only thing we have to fear, is a crippling, decade-long depression.*" The world is ruined in riots as people panic.
I wish I had a beer mug that was always cold and frosty, and I also wish for lots of beer.
*stolen from the Onion. Also, another notable article: "FDR's Fireside Chat Just a Stream of Cusswords"
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My balancing 3.5 compendiumElemental mage test gameQuotesIt is a shame stupidity isn't painful. Totally true. Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment. Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?" I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife. A dull, rusty knife. A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife. Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: **** I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet. When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!" Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
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Elennsar
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« Reply #917 on: October 09, 2008, 06:41:21 PM » |
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Wish granted. Your mug is full of holes.
I wish that I was a high priest of the Pope's alien cult.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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Vynar
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« Reply #918 on: October 10, 2008, 08:51:00 AM » |
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Granted! Welcome to your new position in Britney Spear's latest project Pope's Alien Cult!
I wish that a large group of pirates had by far the most powerful navy in the world!
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Elennsar
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« Reply #919 on: October 10, 2008, 08:52:43 AM » |
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Wish granted! Unfortunately, they're software pirates, so whenever they go to sea, they get seasick.
I wish that I knew if Britney Spears being abreviated to BS means anything.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.
"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.
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