Wish Granted!

[Chemus]

Wish Granted! You are now the proud owner of a room-temperature, week dead red herring! Lucky you!

I wish I could make a useful wish.

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish Granted! After figuring out that the red herring was actually a red herring in more than one meaning, and discovering my true purpose, I find out that I am supposed to help you make a useful wish... I do that. Unfortunately, we end up killing millions in the process, including you. I live and become a successful man. I'm so awesome.  :couch

I wish to be more awesome than I currently am (which is very awesome).

[BobismyRhino]

Wish granted. You become more awesome than you already are. Unfortunately, since your body is not used to the large quantities of win flowing through it, your body spontaneously combusts... Leaving you as a really gross and totally awesome puddle of goo.

I wish I didn't crave junk food all of the time.

[Straw_Man]

Wish granted! You don't crave it anymore, you have a strange disease that lets you only eat junk food.

I wish I wan't moving.

[AfterCrescent]

Wish granted. You are petrified.

I wish everyone showed up to work their own job at the time that they are scheduled to be there.

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish Granted! Everyone shows up, but no one actually does any of their work, including the people that normally do so.

I wish for comforting reassurance.

[Prime32]

Wish granted: aftercrescent gets comforting reassurance.

I wish Nox_Noctis had a Death Note which cannot affect me, though this is a quality of the Death Note and not because I myself have changed in any way.

[Chemus]

Wish Granted! Nox_Noctis now has a Death Note that by its very wording is unable to affect Prime32 or any of his aliases. He then gives it as partial payment to the hit-man.

I wish to be a genius.

[Agita]

Wish granted! You now are a genius. With your genius-level intelligence, you decide to become a scientist. A Mad Scientist, to be exact. Sadly, this means you are now also the villain in some horribly clichéd plot and get offed by a similarly clichéd hero for being Always Chaotic Evil.

I wish for this wish to have no negative consequences for me.

[Prime32]

I wish for this wish to have no negative consequences for me.

Wish granted: Your wish has no positive consequences for you either, though it does makes everyone else in the world become happier.


I wish Nox_Noctis, as an immortal, guarded me from all current and future negative consequences of wishes (using a Death Note which can only be used by him and cannot affect me, though this is a quality of the Death Note and not because I myself have changed in any way) and did not interfere with me in any other way.

[Agita]

Wish Granted. Nox_Noctis forevermore guards you from negative consequences of wishes... but not from being killed by me because I was annoyed at how happy everyone is now.

I wish for Nox's Death Note.

[Prime32]

I wish for Nox's Death Note.

Wish granted: You get Nox's Death Note... and its attached shinigami, who kills you in annoyance.

I wish Nox_Noctis, as an immortal, guarded me from all current and future negative events which happen to me or a group including me (using a Death Note which can only be used by him and cannot affect me, though this is a quality of the Death Note and not because I myself have changed in any way) and did not interfere with me in any other way.

[Agita]

Wish granted. Some very determined individual slightly resembling me travels back in time and screws up your life. The past is fair game, after all.

I wish for a Candle of Invocation.

[Apekollapsen]

Wish granted. You loose it on your way home.

I wish for... a PDA.

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish Granted! A Prototype Dinosaur Android rips you apart, resulting in your death. To add cruelty to the situation, even the PDA suffers because it has incredibly short arms and cannot reach your corpse to feed on it (and, unlike the tyrannosaurus rex, is oddly incapable of bending forward to rip the flesh from you with its teeth).

I wish to be relieved of this empty feeling that resulted when I took the Latin final exam and felt like I was a deer caught in the headlights (seriously, I think I just got a D in the class because of that final, meaning I'll need to take its equivalent course during the summer session since I need it for my major, not to mention to huge impact that will have on my GPA, thus effecting my graduate college decisions, etc. Oh, and my personal goal of making Dean's List all 12 quarters is ruined... This should have probably gone in the venting thread, but it's too late).

[Optimator]

Wish granted!  The feeling is gone--as is $40 for all the pot you had to smoke to feel that way.  In other news, Adult Swim on Cartoon Network is now your favorite use of your time.

I wish the dent in my car was wholly fixed.

[Agita]

Wish granted. In fact, the dent is fixed so thoroughly and perfectly that its sheer fixedness opens a rift in space-time that swallows your car, your house, and your dog.

I wish to find the Candle of Invocation I lost earlier after wishing for it.

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish Granted! ...Except you lose it again (you're actually cursed to always lose it whenever you obtain one).

I wish to Relax. (Yes, that's a reference to the song title.)

[Prime32]

I wish to Relax.

Don't do it!

[Optimator]

"I like this song"
"Of course you do"