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Author Topic: How do I eat people and get away with it?  (Read 7739 times)
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Sinfire Titan
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« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2008, 08:40:50 AM »

Wine your victims, THEN dine them.

...what?

Booze doesn't work as well as a blow job. You aren't guaranteed to get the meat in your mouth before you are able to start chewing.
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tusk
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« Reply #21 on: December 25, 2008, 11:52:30 PM »

Blunt instruments are your friend.

1. They break the bones, which is the harder part(s) to hide
2.They tenderizes the meat. If you can't stop it, enjoy it.
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Chemus
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« Reply #22 on: December 26, 2008, 12:09:27 AM »

I don't know Runescape, but sentient means self-aware, right? The 'awakened cow' idea is a good one, but if you're able to go kill a monster race, then save the meat ("I need the meat of our foes for my powers") would that have satisfied your taint requirements?
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« Reply #23 on: December 26, 2008, 05:32:04 PM »

Yeah.
Unless the world you're playing in has no monster races, this isn't that big a problem.
Who's going to care if you go around barbecuing kobolds? They probably taste like chicken anyway.
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John O'Sevens
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veekie
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« Reply #24 on: December 26, 2008, 10:51:55 PM »

Yeah.
Unless the world you're playing in has no monster races, this isn't that big a problem.
Who's going to care if you go around barbecuing kobolds? They probably taste like chicken anyway.

According to roguelikes the kobolds are toxic, stick with goblins.
Damned kobolds.
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« Reply #25 on: January 15, 2009, 12:32:42 AM »

Why do I get the feeling that people in this thread are answering really casually?  Smirk:

come on, learn from the past! How do you eat 25 lbs of people a day? Open a barber shop...

... what?
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Ieniemienie
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« Reply #26 on: February 19, 2009, 08:38:57 AM »

Or just go to Germany and kindly ask if you can eat someone  Tongue

added benefit:
"With every bite, my memory of him grew stronger,".
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« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2009, 06:41:34 PM »

*thread necromancy*

So... now I've got a demonologist/enchanter who can perform sacrifices to get the mojo for summoning demons and making magic items...

any suggestions on how to go about getting sacrifices such that the party paladin doesn't find out? Willing sacrifices would be nice, since they provide more mojo...
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Kuroimaken
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« Reply #28 on: June 28, 2009, 07:30:08 PM »

*thread necromancy*

So... now I've got a demonologist/enchanter who can perform sacrifices to get the mojo for summoning demons and making magic items...

any suggestions on how to go about getting sacrifices such that the party paladin doesn't find out? Willing sacrifices would be nice, since they provide more mojo...

Pump your social skills like crazy, flirt around.
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Prime32
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« Reply #29 on: June 28, 2009, 07:34:15 PM »

Perform "last rites" on the dying, wink wink.
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The_Mad_Linguist
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« Reply #30 on: June 28, 2009, 07:59:33 PM »

Perform "last rites" on the dying, wink wink.
This.
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« Reply #31 on: June 28, 2009, 10:40:32 PM »

hmm... now I need to think about whether I...

shit...

I did very solidly make my character not part of the "psuedo-christian" civilization... I'm part of the psuedo-viking/celtic hill barbarian people... and there's another one in my group...

I was kinda thinking of kidnapping shepherd boys or something...
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The_Mad_Linguist
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« Reply #32 on: June 28, 2009, 10:55:55 PM »

I did very solidly make my character not part of the "psuedo-christian" civilization... I'm part of the psuedo-viking/celtic hill barbarian people... and there's another one in my group...

"Well, since we're on land, and he doesn't have a boat, I guess I'll just burn him here to be as clost to the traditional rite as possible.  Those who have the audacity to fight against us the norsemen are to be honored as enemies, and deserve the honors of a warrior's death."
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Linguist, Mad, Unique, none of these things am I
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« Reply #33 on: June 29, 2009, 04:36:22 PM »

"right, and why is there now a big monstrous thing coalescing out of thin air in the middle of an intricate circle carved into the floor of your cart?"
"Tradition"
"And what tradition is that?"
"Reception of the soul by the thing that's going to kick it's ass for standing in my way"
"... Didn't we already do that?"
"Nah, he got off light"

...that works, actually

plus I played off the giant winged monkey easily enough last game...

the real problem is the summoning demons part and the part where I'd rather sacrifice random people than animals, both for mechanical reasons, and my own personal opposition to hurting animals that haven't done anything against me...

the knight's going to want to kill me, really, I guess I just need to ingratiate myself and, well, "Walk softly and carry a big winged monkey"
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The_Mad_Linguist
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« Reply #34 on: June 29, 2009, 05:15:41 PM »

"right, and why is there now a big monstrous thing coalescing out of thin air in the middle of an intricate circle carved into the floor of your cart?"
"Tradition"
"And what tradition is that?"
"Reception of the soul by the thing that's going to kick it's ass for standing in my way"
"... Didn't we already do that?"
"Nah, he got off light"

...that works, actually

plus I played off the giant winged monkey easily enough last game...

the real problem is the summoning demons part and the part where I'd rather sacrifice random people than animals, both for mechanical reasons, and my own personal opposition to hurting animals that haven't done anything against me...

the knight's going to want to kill me, really, I guess I just need to ingratiate myself and, well, "Walk softly and carry a big winged monkey"

"It's a psychopomp,  I swear!"

Remember to get some source of glibness for a sweet +30 on the bluff check.
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Prime32
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« Reply #35 on: June 29, 2009, 07:00:09 PM »

"It's a psychopomp,  I swear!"
Ask if he was expecting a guy in a black hakama carrying a katana. Wink
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My work
DeviantArt
Current games
The tier system in a nutshell:
Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
veekie
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« Reply #36 on: July 01, 2009, 10:42:00 AM »

"It's a psychopomp,  I swear!"
Ask if he was expecting a guy in a black hakama carrying a katana. Wink
Or maybe a dog/horse/bull/whatever-headed being.

Or a traditionalist with the robes and scythe.Smile
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The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."
emissary666
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« Reply #37 on: August 04, 2009, 07:09:35 PM »

Try converting the knight covertly. Convince him that what you doing is right and that he should help. I'm sure you'd get some kind of benefit from corrupting someone. That or you convince him to let you sacrifice him.
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« Reply #38 on: August 04, 2009, 08:20:16 PM »

Try converting the knight covertly. Convince him that what you doing is right and that he should help. I'm sure you'd get some kind of benefit from corrupting someone. That or you convince him to let you sacrifice him.

Oh now that'd just be awesome... I have to make sure to work on that... I work up something using the "pagan vrs. christian" style tension in the game world too...
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KellKheraptis
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« Reply #39 on: September 15, 2009, 12:57:17 PM »

Try converting the knight covertly. Convince him that what you doing is right and that he should help. I'm sure you'd get some kind of benefit from corrupting someone. That or you convince him to let you sacrifice him.

Worst case scenario...the monkey can fly, the knight cannot.  If he can lift the knight, problem solves itself...if not, well he's gotta hit sooner or later with those dropped rocks
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