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Author Topic: Sode #22: Drunken Podcasting- Part 1 (Bonus 03)  (Read 11916 times)
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Wightlord
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« Reply #40 on: December 16, 2008, 06:35:21 AM »

Please post the discussion about Megs Vibrator Collection.

I never thought I'd find people who's twisted sense of humor matched my own. In that vein I present my own first time drunk story.


This takes place on my 18th birthday, and after being thoroughly wasted on Scotch we were relieving ourselves behind the bar (I'm not sure why, the bar did have restrooms). I remember thinking "being hard isn't so drunk" my train of thought was rudely interrupted by by someone tapping my shoulder, I turned around with the intention of berating them when I came face to face with a Female RCMP Officer and had three almost simultaneous realizations.

The first was that she was so good damn hot that is willing to believe in god again, her hair was pulled into a severe ponytail, an eyebrow was arched above her sunglasses, her full lips pulled into a no nonsense scowl, and the just visible outline of her magnificent breasts behind her bulletproof vest.

The second was that she was holding a baton, a police issue baton, the kind of baton that sends Rodney King into paralytic flashbacks.

The third and most disturbing was that I was still urinating, on her leg to be precise. I stopped as quickly as I could but it took an agonizingly long time to zip up, and for all that the only thing I could think to say to her was:

"Wow, this is par for the course with women, but I normally do pretty good with authority figures".

To this day I have no idea why they did not beat me to death and dump my body outside of town during a blizzard, as the RCMP are famous for.

All I received was an even more arched eyebrow and a slight softening of the scowl and our instructions to:

"Get the fuck out of here and go home, or else"

And we did, quickly, cause you don't fuck around with the RCMP.

Ahh memories.....
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Meg
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« Reply #41 on: December 17, 2008, 12:57:22 AM »

Haha!  That's classic!  Good story.

I'm still up for releasing some of the outtakes of this episode as some sort of special or prize or something.  Possibly.  I haven't re-listened to it since doing the episode so maybe I'm forgetting how incriminating it all is.  But if someone comes up with a good suggestion I'll consider it.
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Wightlord
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« Reply #42 on: December 17, 2008, 05:44:50 AM »

Disturbingly enough, I have a more embarrassing story about why I no longer share hotel rooms an Cons.
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I like my Women like I like my Coffee, Cold and Bitter.

I would never hit a woman, unless she called me sir and asked me nicely.
Meg
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« Reply #43 on: December 17, 2008, 09:30:13 AM »

Do tell!  Are you a sleep molester?
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Wightlord
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« Reply #44 on: December 17, 2008, 07:26:26 PM »

Do tell!  Are you a sleep molester?

Oh man, I would kill to have a medical defense for my illicit gropery.


It was the third time I attended Gencon, I was sharing a room with a friend of mine, we'll call him Mike, and by sharing I mean that I had planned ahead and had a nice double room at the Marriott at a decent price and he barely managed to come up with bus fare at the last minute, after a sufficient amount of begging I agreed to let him have the second bed

The rules were simple, lights out from 2am - 6am, keep your shit packed and stowed, dirty towels go in the corner so its easy for the maid to find them, and the "Do Not Disturb" sign means "I have a Girl, go the fuck away".

Things went fairly well Thursday and Friday, we attended some of the same event but mostly we didn't see each other until the evenings. On Saturday I ended up sharing a table with people I didn't know, at the table was a woman that looked very familiar, she was 3 or 4 years older than me, but I couldn't place where I knew her from.

Towards the end of lunch I asked her, "I know this sounds cliched but you look familiar, do I know you from somewhere ?"

"No, I don't think so" she replied

"I'm not hitting on you or anything like that, you just look very familiar"

"You're not hitting on me ?"

At this point the conversation had gotten away from me.

She laughed so hard Cola came out of her nose, and the banter was soon forgotten and we went our separate ways after lunch.

Around 6 pm or so I returned to the Marriott for a little break between events, and of course the woman was in the lobby, she was checking over the event lists.

I walked up behind her and said "Hello again, stalking me ?". We bantered for bit until she learned that I was staying in that hotel at which point she asked to use the bathroom in my room, which seemed fishy at the time. She had been in the bathroom for about 10 minutes when it occurred to me what was going on and that I was going to need to hang the "Do not Disturb" on the door.

I won't go into graphic details but I will share three observations;

First, most women react well to "My dear you have Magnificent Breasts"

Second, most also seem to like being spanked to some degree.

Third, Astroglide is much better than KY.

Now for the amusing part.

We were finishing up our second round, I was lying on the bed receiving a BJ and I had just started to cum when I heard the door open and Mike yell "I saw the sign, what kind of skanky whore did you manage to get". Now Mike doesn't talk like this normally, but he was doing his be to be a dick. She jerked her head up to look at him and ended up getting a face full (well not full, but enough), which was unfortunate because she was a "no quit, no spit" kind of gal.

I don't think she noticed though, she just looked at him, and he stared at her for a moment and said "Liz ?"

She yelled "Shit" and ran into the bathroom. And then it hit me, that's where I knew her from, the Family portrait at Mike's house, she was his sister.

After that it descended into a lot of yelling and swearing, and after the dust settled I vowed to never share a room again.
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I like my Women like I like my Coffee, Cold and Bitter.

I would never hit a woman, unless she called me sir and asked me nicely.
Kai
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« Reply #45 on: December 17, 2008, 10:01:13 PM »

Wow.
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FraserRonald
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« Reply #46 on: December 18, 2008, 06:11:32 AM »

Gaming Con pRon

Dear Brilliant Gameologists.

I never believed the stories I read in your fine publication until this one time I was attending a Con with Mike.

==bow-chicka-wah-wah===
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Meg
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« Reply #47 on: December 19, 2008, 08:55:30 AM »

 Laugh
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AfterCrescent
« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2009, 02:02:46 PM »

 Laugh Best. Story. Ever.
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Dionysus
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« Reply #49 on: February 13, 2009, 06:27:40 AM »

See, this is the trouble being all the way up in iceland - never get to meet any of you drunken fools... Sad
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Kai
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« Reply #50 on: February 13, 2009, 08:40:35 PM »

Meg loves Iceland, she's been once already...so meeting her at least isn't as remote as you might think. Big Grin
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Josh
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« Reply #51 on: February 14, 2009, 01:56:43 AM »

See, this is the trouble being all the way up in iceland - never get to meet any of you drunken fools... Sad

I have been to iceland once and Meg has been twice.  And I would go again.  Iceland is really cool and it would be even cooler with a native guide.
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Ennies Nominees - Best Podcast 2009
Dionysus
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« Reply #52 on: February 14, 2009, 12:43:13 PM »

Heh.

Yeah, and now is a great time to come with the lovely idiots who drove our economy into the ground. Smile Everything is cheap for you now!
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bhu
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« Reply #53 on: February 15, 2009, 01:13:41 AM »

I'd heard the country was going bankrupt or something.  Are you guys okay?
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Dionysus
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« Reply #54 on: February 15, 2009, 11:10:57 AM »

Going?

The banks all got taken over by the government, and they are currently artificially freezing the value of the isk (ie, in the banks they set the price of foreign exchange - the actual market value is waay different.) The isk is practically worthless overseas as no one wants to actually buy it or use it.

I'm just supremely happy that i get paid in euros and that my job has a lot of foreign customers. The price of most imported stuff (which includes just about everything) hasn't changed value that much (ie, my euro will still by the same amount of stuff), but if you are getting paid in isk then you are about getting about 1/3 of what you were getting before the crisis. Unemployment went from under 1% to somewhere in the 5-10% range (in about a month).

Its fairly nasty really. But its because our whole economy is miniscule and heavily reliant on imports for even basic supplies, this is a worldwide issue, just we felt it first as we're really exposed to it.

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