Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature

[bhu]

Where in I post the various critters I've worked on in revised form.

The List

Page 1: Goofy Aberrations

Awakened Spell Template
Beholder Cyclops, Carnivex
Beholder Cyclops, Magos
Carnal Mindflayer
Carnal Mindflayer Childer
The Martian Template
The Speaker
The Voyeur
Yellow Beholder

Page 2: Mo Goofy Aberrations

Carnal Mindflayer, Beholder
Carnal Mindflayer, Bimbo
Carnal Mindflayer, Blob
Carnal Mindflayer, Brain
Carnal Mindflayer, Brute
Carnal Mindflayer Childer, Mob
Carnal Mindflayer Egg Sac
Carnal Mindflayer, Hexapod
Carnal Mindflayer, Hulk
Carnal Mindflayer, Medusae
Carnal Mindflayer, Twitcher

Page 3: Jesus, how many of these Mindflayers did I make?

Armored Turtle
Bell Golem
Carnal Mindflayer, Albiniid
Carnal Mindflayer, Cuttleworm
Carnal Mindflayer, Nautiloid
Carnal Mindflayer, Selachii
Carnal Mindflayer, Slime
Electric Yak
Gunpowder Golem
Half-Illithid, Carnal
Marble Golem
Whale Golem

Page 4: Just when you thought you were safe from more Beholder Variants...

Atomic Golem
Beholder Cyclops, Hypnos
Beholder Cyclops, Phobos
Booze Golem
Poop Golem
Putty Panda

Page 5: It's Faerie Time...

Armordillo
Beholder Cyclops, Necros
Beholder Cyclops, Somnos
Beholder Cyclops, Tardos
Big Spookity Kitty
Cactus Dryad
Cash Cow
Dire Nymph
Fairy Shrimp
Good Kitty
Habanero Dryad
Lil Spookity Kitty
Lil Spookity Kitty Swarm
Orc Amazons
Pan-Da
Seaweed Dryad
Were Human Template
Were Kitten Template

Page 6: Small furry things are the worst..

Antbird
Archer Fish
Arctic Fox
Barbearian
Beer Pudding
Beholder Cyclops, Calxos
Beholder Cyclops, Eradicos
Beholder Folk
Beholder, Mutate
Bighorn Sheep
Blowfly
Bullfrog
Crab Spider
Edible Golem
Funk Ape
Sage Buzzard
Snow Golem
Stone Crab
Stoners
The Mother of All Hummingbirds



Page 7  "Abner...Abner the small furry things is gettin' smaller..

Bugbear
Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm
Chicken Lord
Death Gerbil Swarm
Devil Mice Swarm
Figgy Pudding
Fire Beetle
Freed Outsider Template
Hulk, Aquamarine
Hulk, Cerise
Hulk, Cerulean
Hulk, Magenta
Hulk, Sienna
Hulk, Teal
Lemming Swarm
Mysterious Magical Maniacal Miniaturized Moose Swarm
Paralegal Imp
The Dire Goldfish
Vorpal Shrew Swarm

Page 8 "Abner...I don't trust your lawyer exactly...[/I]

Bubba the Headless Chicken
Devilish Attorney
Dire Monkey
Dire Thingie Template
Giant Ticks
Hulk, Chartreuse
Hulk, Fuschia
Hulk, Gray
Hulk, Lavender
Hulk, Periwinkle
Hulk, Sepia
Tick Swarm
Unfeeling Brute Template
Vampiric Vermin Template


Page 9 "HUMMINGBIRDS!!! AH'S AFEARD O' HUMMINGBIRDS!

Atomic Golem
Chiropterid
Giant Mosquito
Hulk, Green
Hulk, Orange
Hummingbird Swarm
Superhero Template
Vampire Baby Swarm

Page 10 Dire Crittas

Dire Chameleon
Dire Groundhog
Dire Naked Mole Rats
Dire Poison Arrow Frog
Dire Porcupine
Dire Spitting Cobra
Dire Tamandua
Dire Tree Kangaroo
Dragon Millipede

Page 11

Dire Giraffe
Dire Guinea Pig
Dire Hamster
Dire Hare

Page 12

Dire Duck
Dire Electric Eel
Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm
Dire Vampire Squid

Page 13

Dire Gulper Eel
Dire Kitty
Dire Vole
Giant Sea Urchin

Page 14

Dire Ibis
Dire Komodo Dragon
Dire Muntjac Deer
Dire Okapi/Okapi
Dire Ostrich
Dire Pelican
Dire Rhea
Dire Swan
Dire Whitetail Deer
Giant Banana Slug
Hairbeasts
Kirby

Page 15

Dire Ankylosaur
Dire Kangaroo
Dire Lemur
Dire Penguin
Dire Pigeon
Dire Rock Wallaby
Kaiju Template
King Template
Were Otter

Page 16

Banana Tree Dryad
Dire Chicken
Dire Elephant
Dire Keets
Dire Parrot
Dire Pika
Dire Squirrel
Dire Turkey
Main Lobster
Moss Dryad
Mushroom Dryad

Page 17

Dire Flamingo
Dire Moose
Goomba
Lesser Kaiju
Nilbog
Titan Budgie
Veo

Page 18

Abeil Queen, Debarta
Abeil Queen, Gaborah
Abeil Soldier, Debarta
Abeil Soldier, Gaborah
Abeil Vassal, Debarta
Abeil Vassal, Gaborah
Rosebush Dryad
Wolpertinger

Page 19

Ahool
Bigfoot (Star People)
Bigfoot, Wise Ones (Star People)
BIG Sasquatch
Catfish Gawd
Dire Pirhana
Emela-ntouka
Generic Lake Monster
Guariba-boia
Jersey Devil
Lukwata
Mokele-Mbembe
Nessie (Giant Eel, Giant Long Necked Seal, Super Worm)
Tzuchinoko

Page 20

Batsquatch
Capsichums
Dire Arapaima
Dire Candiru
El Cuero
Howler Monkey Snake
Kaiju
Larval Otyugh
Leechmen
The Hide

Page 21

Agogwe
Beer Lurker
Blunderbore
Combustible Chicken
Dire Toucan
Greater Kaiju

Page 22

Bore
Dire Platypus
Ghost Frog
Ram
Troll Boar

Page 23

Bafoon
Cameleon
Fungal Golem
Giant Tarantula
Hive Golem
Manakin Golem
Smiley Faced Spider


Page 24

Darwin Monkey
Dire Cows
Drekavac



Page 25
Emperor Ralph
Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp
Owlman of Mawnan
Rhinoctopus



Page 26

Ant Gawd
Ant Swarm
Dire Rust Monster
Faux Beholder
Faux Spider
Landsquid
Man-Snail
Omnicidal Furry
Squid Bee
Squig
The Basset Folk
The Hodag
The Noble Platypi
The Perfect


Page 27

Atlas Hamster
Pack Mouse

Page 28

Apes of Wrath
Bee-Holder
Bee Swarm
Big Bee
Big Bee Swarm
Shark Bird
Shark Bird Swarm
Swarm Fish


Page 29

Banana Muffin Swarm
Idiot Box
Mimic Sheep
Pirhanakeet Swarm
Rainbow Butt Monkey
Voracious Lemming
Zamba Zaraa



Page 30

The Milton Lizard



Page 31

Biggie Sized Leech
Earth Mole
Epic Zombie
Giant Pistol Shrimp
Headless Mule
Muck Whale



Page 32
Chickcharney
Crocrerocerous
Deadly Nadder
Epic Skeleton
Goby Minion
Hummingator
Hummingator Swarm
Llamabird
One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater
Terrible Terror
Zebrocerous


Page 33
Acrosapien
Gronckle
Hideous Zippleback
Monstrous Nightmare
Night Fury


Page 34
Little Veekie's Big Beehouse of Horror, Part 1
Neo Animal Template
Sea Dragon

Page 35
Dire Dog (Toy Breed)
Fish Bastards
Ramming Roller

Page 37

Bearmaid
Crowwolf
Dire Crowwolf
Dire Owlbear

[bhu]

The Voyeur
Medium Aberration
Hit Dice: 4d8 +8 ( 26 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), fly 30 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 16 ( +1 Dex, +5 Natural) touch 11, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+3
Attack: Bite +3 melee ( 1d6) or Eye Rays +4 ranged touch attack
Full Attack: Bite +3 melee ( 1d6) or Eye Rays +4 ranged touch attack
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye Rays
Special Qualities: All-Around Vision, flight, Dark Vision 60 ft., Revealing
Gaze, Retractable Eyes
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +6
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills: Bluff +4, Hide +11, Knowledge (Local)+5,
Knowledge (any 2 other) +5,
Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Search +9, Spot +11
Feats: Alertness, Improved Initiative
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Pair
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral
Advancement: 5-8 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ----


"Before you floats a sphere so black it almost fades into the shadows behind it. You barely make out a mouth with needle like fangs, and a great staring eye before it flees into the distance.  The fact that it's a horrifying monster that could have attacked isn't as disturbing to you as the realization that it's spent the last several moments watching you poop."

The Voyeur is a mutated Beholder-kin raised in the city of Koziol by the Eye Tyrants as personal spies. The Beholders find them to be something of a double edged sword as they seem to get into everyones business, set up shop as independent information brokers, let slip embarrassing personal information at the worst times, etc. Some even become bartenders. If their abilities didn't make them so useful the Eye Tyrants would probably squash them all like bugs. Plus their alignment makes them an embarrassment to the Beholder race in general. Voyeurs are about 4' in diameter, and weigh about 185 pounds. They speak Beholder and Common.

Eye Rays (Su): The Voyeur has 3 eyes on retractable stalks that it can use to fire rays up to 100'. The rays resemble spells cast by an 6th level caster and have a Save DC of 13 (Save DC is Charisma Based). The rays follow the rules for spell rays (see Aiming A Spell, page 175 of PHB). The 3 rays include:

Paralysis: The target must succeed on a Fortitude Save or be paralyzed for 2d10 minutes.

Charm Person : The target must succeed on a Will saving throw or be affected as though by the spell of the same name.

Telekinesis: The target may be moved about as per the spell of the same name if it is no more than 200 pounds.

All-Around Vision (Ex): The Voyeurs eyes give it a +4 racial bonus on Spot and Search checks, and they cannot be flanked.

Flight (Ex): A Voyeurs body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Revealing Gaze (Su): The Voyeurs central eye casts a beam in a 60' cone. The Voyeur is considered to have True Seeing (caster level 9th) permanently in effect in this cone as per the spell. Also, it may render any non-living matter in the cones area of effect invisible to itself, effectively allowing the voyeur to peer through walls. Other beings do not get the benefit of this effect, only the voyeur.

Retractable Eyes (Ex): All of the Voyeur's eyes, other than the central eye, are on retractable 5 foot stalks. This means the Voyeur can angle the eye rays to fire in any direction it wants, and can even hide in complete concealment and snipe at opponents in range. It may fire all 3 rays at one opponent if it wishes.

Skills: Voyeurs have a +8 Racial bonus on Hide checks as they can manipulate the color of their skin to some small effect.

Combat: For the most part Voyeurs are utter cowards. Most will take a shot or two with their Paralysis eye from behind cover, and flee if the opponent resists its effects. Beholders often use them as guards, putting a pair behind a door or wall that guards something important. If something approaches on the other side they'll see it due to their Revealing Gaze, and alert their masters. Sometimes a Beholder guards with them, and the Voyeurs use their advance info to coordinate an ambush for whatever is coming through the door. In effect, since the Voyeurs will know what’s going on, and the invaders behind the door don’t, the Voyeur and its other Beholder companions get one surprise round to attack with their eyes as the party (or whatever) bursts in blindly. If they have a Beholder with them they will try to hide and snipe with their Slow or Paralysis eye rays to help set up opponents for their master. The Charm eye is usually to charm guards into letting them pass, or similar functions.

[bhu]

The Speaker
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 13d8+65 (123 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 26 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
24
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+13
Attack: 12 Eye Rays +10 Ranged Touch and Bite +4 melee (2d4)
Full Attack: 12 Eye Rays +10 Ranged Touch and Bite +4 melee (2d4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye Rays, Fascination
Special Qualities: All-Around Vision, Dark Vision 60', Flight
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +10
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +14, Diplomacy +12, Intimidate +14, Knowledge
(Religion) +13, Listen +7, Search +11, Sense Motive +10,
Spot +11, Survival +4 (+6 when following tracks)
Feats: Ability Focus (Fascinate), Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative,
Iron Will, Persuasive
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, pair, or coven (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 13
Treasure: Double Standard
Alignment: Any (see text)
Advancement: 14-16 (Large), 17-35 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Floating before you in the road is the strangest Beholder you have ever seen. Dozens of eyestalks droop from its head wreathed with flowers looking like some obscene parody of a head full of hair. Instead of a fanged maw is a more human like mouth with full plump lips, and a vacant smile. It appears to be selling flowers and trinkets.  The Hare Krishnas have adopted the Beholders now apparently."

Speakers are brought to you by the same foolish Beholders who created the Voyeurs. They were originally created to serve as spokesmen for the Beholder Cults. The idea was that their Fascination abilities would be put to the use of converting new people into the cults, and acting as ambassadors to the humanoid countries. Unfortunately there was a problem. Born absolute Neutral, the Speakers stayed Neutral until exposed to a Deity or idea that sparked their imagination. At which point their Alignment becomes that of the Deity whose cause they convert too, and they campaign in his name. Being Beholders however, they tend to be somewhat...pushy in their campaigning.  An example:

"Would you like to donate money to the Church of Pelor?  It will go to help needy orphans?"

"I..uh...donated yesterday...."

"Would you like to bribe the Church of Pelor to not light you up with Eye Rays?  It'll go to help needy orphans?"

"Uh....well when you put it that way..."


 Speakers are about 9 or 10 feet wide and have many more eyestalks than the average Beholder. They speak Beholder and Common.

Eye Rays (Su): Each of a Speakers Eye Rays resembles a spell cast by a 15th level Caster. Each Eye Ray has a Range of 150 feet, and a Save DC of 20. Save is Charisma Based. The rays follow the rules for spell rays (see Aiming A Spell, page 175 of PHB). The Rays include:

Charm Monster: The target must make a Will Save or be affected as though by the spell.

Inflict Moderate Wounds: This works like the spell causing 2d8+15 points of damage (Will Save for half damage).

While the Speaker has dozens of eyestalks it can effectively only manage to coordinate well enough to use 4 eye rays in each 90 degree arc (up, forward, backward, left, right, or down). It may use one type of eye ray for all 4 attacks or divide attacks between Charm and Inflict as it sees fit in each arc.

Fascination (Su): The Speakers Central Eye continually produces a 150 foot cone that may fascinate anyone in its area. This effect is identical to to the spell Hypnotism, except the area of effect is the cone, and there is no Hit Die limit. Save to avoid this effect is Willpower DC 22 (Save is Charisma Based).

All-Around Vision (Ex): The Speakers eyes give it a +4 racial bonus on Spot and Search checks, and they cannot be flanked.

Flight (Ex): A Speakers body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Speakers generally try to use their Fascination ability first to its maximum advantage, usually to convince people to donate money to the cause or convert weak willed passers by. If angered or attacked it relies on its Charm Monster ability to get out of trouble, and the Inflict Wounds eyes if that fails. Most will flee if combat turns against them.  However most will belong to a religion or cult of some kind, and will likely have plenty of backup nearby.

[bhu]

Yellow Beholder
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 10d8+40 (85 hp, 105 while raging)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), fly 20 ft. (4 squares, good)
Armor Class: 26 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +15 Deflection), touch 26, flat-footed 24
While raging 24 (-1 Size, -2 Rage, +2 Dex, +15 Deflection), touch 24,
flat-footed 22
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+13
Attack: Bite +8 melee (2d6+3), during rage Bite +10 melee (2d6+6)
Full Attack: Bite +8 melee (2d6+3), during rage Bite +10 melee (2d6+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Ghost Touch, Fruit Rage
Special Qualities: Flight, Dark Vision 60 ft.
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +9 (+11 during Fruit Rage)
Abilities: Str 14 (18), Dex 14, Con 18 (22), Int 8, Wis 15, Cha 10
Skills: Hide +5, Intimidate +3, Listen +4, Move Silently +5, Spot +4
Feats: Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack, Dodge.
Mobility
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 11-15 HD (Large), 16-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Floating in front of you is a large yellow sphere with black pupil less eyes and a huge mouth. It seems to be eating a ghost if thats possible.....Man, you've really gotta stop sampling the local mushrooms..."

Yellow Beholders were created from lesser Beholderkin to exterminate the nasty problem of Beholder Ghosts. Since Beholders tend to assassinate one another with some frequency, they tend to have a high portion of their race returning from the dead with unfinished business. Unfortunately the Yellow Beholder isn't very bright. It tends to attack anything incorporeal and it also devastates fruit crops sometimes used to feed slave races. Most Beholders kill them on sight. Farmers and Undead aren't very fond of them either. Yellow Beholders speak Beholder.  They are roughly 10' in diameter and usually weigh as much as a large buffalo.

Ghost Touch (Ex): Yellow Beholders can touch (and be touched by) Incorporeal creatures. Each still uses its deflection AC bonus against the other, but they are both solid for purposes of fighting each other. Incorporeal creatures are the Yellow Beholders main food source. It also likes fruit which causes some problems....

Fruit Rage (Ex): Most forms of fruit are highy toxic to Yellow Beholders, as well as incredibly addictive.  If a Yellow Beholder eats fruit it must make a Fortitude Save (DC 20) or fly into a destructive Rage. This Rage is identical to the Barbarian Rage ability (including duration), and also increases the Yellow Beholders Flight Speed to 30. Stats in parentheses are for while raging.  While raging, Yellow Beholders will attack about anything. (Fruit is effectively a poison, Ingested, Fort Save DC 20, Initial and Secondary damage Rage).

Flight (Ex): A Beholders body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Yellow Beholders tend to ignore anything that doesn't attack them first except fruit trees and incorporeal beings which it immediately attacks and begins biting until one of them is eaten or dead.  Usually the fruit trees don't fight back but there have been exceptions.

[AstralFire]

Why a Fortitude save to resist raging?

I don't have much else to offer, never been a monster fan. Clear you like Beholders, though.

[bhu]

Why a Fortitude save to resist raging?

I don't have much else to offer, never been a monster fan. Clear you like Beholders, though.

Actually I just get a buttload of requests for Aberrations so I have lots of them laying around.  Added the reason for the Fort Save.

[bhu]

Beholder Cyclops, Magos
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 16d8+64 (136 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 26 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
24
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+16
Attack: Bite +12 melee (2d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (2d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Antimagic Beam
Special Qualities: Antimagic Field, Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +14
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 3, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Listen +10, Search +6, Spot +11
Feats: Ability Focus (Antimagic Beam), Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Iron Will
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---


"Before you floats what could be a Beholder, glowing with power in the darkness. But it has only the one eye, and it seems alive with energy. You can feel it in the air around it, like an itch in your bones. Its one great eye seems devoid of life or intelligence."

10 minutes later:

"YOU ATE MY VORPAL SWORD!!!!! AAAARGH!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!! Do you know how many innocent goblins, hobgoblins, kobolds, et al I had to kill to make the money to acquire one of those?"

"Thog just poor uneducated Beholderkin, but somehow Thog think it unfair he is one being called bastard here..."

"Wait..doesn't the text below say you can no longer speak or understand languages?"

The Magos are the first of the Beholder Cyclops, and the worst of the bunch. Originally the Magos was an experiment by the Beholder community to increase the antimagic power of their central eye. It worked too well. The result was insane. An eating machine incapable of reason and little more than an animal. Worse it preyed upon other Beholders whose eye rays were useless against it, or spawned its own kind from them. The attempts to exterminate them drove them underground. Magos no longer speak or understand languages, and are slightly larger than the average Beholder.


Antimagic Field (Ex): The Magos' central eye radiates an Antimagic Field identical to the spell of the same name. The effect permanently surrounds it out to 10'.

Antimagic Beam (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Magos may reduce its Antimagic Field into a tight beam that it fires from its Central Eye. This is a Ranged Touch attack with a range increment of 120 feet and +14 to hit. If it strikes an opponent he is affected as if he had had the spell Mordenkainen's Disjunction cast upon him. Caster level is 18, Will power Save DC is 22 (Save is Charisma based). The round this ray is fired the Magos' Antimagic Field is down, so it only uses it at a distance.

Flight (Ex): A Magos' body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: A Magos will open up with it's Antimagic Beam (if it's at range), and then charge.  They're too feral to think of tactics much beyond this.

[bhu]

Beholder Cyclops, Carnivex
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 16d8+64 (136 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 26 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
24
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+16
Attack: Bite +12 melee (2d4+1)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (2d4+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Flesh Whacking Gaze
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +14
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 3, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Listen +10, Search +6, Spot +11
Feats: Ability Focus (Flesh-Whacking Gaze), Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Iron Will, Improved Initiative
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Before you is what seems to be a beholder missing all but its great central eye. The beam from that eye seems to flense the flesh from the bones of your fellow soldiers. It's not quite as disturbing as the hysterical high-pitched giggling it constantly seems to emit, but it'll do."

The Carnivex is the second attempt at creating a cyclops with a more powerful eye beam. This time the central eye has assumed and greatly amplified the power of the eye that formerly cast Inflict Moderate Wounds. Unfortunately this meant that the new beholders gaze ripped the flesh off anything it could see. It made it difficult to keep them about, and once again the attempt was made to scrap the project and kill off the results. The Carnivex understands Beholder and Common, but most are incapable of speech or really complex thought processes. 

Flight (Ex): A Carnivexes body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Flesh Whacking Gaze (Su): The Carnivexes central eye constantly generates a beam of negative energy in a 150' cone. Anything caught in the cone is subject to the effects of a Harm spell as cast by a 18th level caster. Willpower Save DC is 20 and is Charisma based.

Combat:  The processes that have created the Carnivex has left it in constant pain.  It rarely thinks, it simply charges and bites, assuming there's anything there to bite when it arrives.

[AstralFire]

You sure you're not just a humongous fan of beholders? >.>

[bhu]

hehehehehehhe

Don't worry the first non-Beholder critter is up next.

[bhu]

This one still needs some work...

Awakened Spells

Awakened Spells are an odd occurrence that happen in areas of Wild Magic at very rare moments. Sometimes in particularly volatile regions when a mage casts a spell it gains a life of its own. This usually takes 1d6 weeks after the spell is cast so the mage is unaware it has happened. An Awakened spell looks like its 'creator' but for its size (which is dependent on it's spell level) and minor changes in appearance depending on what the spell was (A Fireball might have flaming pupils for instance, or orange skin). To make an Awakened Spell you must choose a Base Creature, and a Base Spell. The Base Creature is the caster who cast the soon to be living spell, and the Base Spell is the spell that has come to life. When text refers to the level of the Base spell it is the spells level plus any increases due to Metamagic Feats.  For example a Maximized Fireball is a 6th level spell.

Awakened Spell is an Inherited template that can be given to any creature that can cast spells as a result of it's Class. It is considered Inherited since the template is being applied to the newly created spell as opposed to the caster.

Size and Type: Type becomes Aberration. Size depends on Spell Level of the Base Spell (0:Tiny, 1-3: Small, 4-6: Medium, 7-9: Large, Epic: Huge).

Hit Dice: Hit Dice change to d8's and must be recalculated. Hit Dice total becomes 1 plus Base Spell Level (Epic Spells have 11 Hit Dice).

Speed: Unchanged.

Armor Class: The base creature loses any Natural Armor bonus, but gains a Deflection bonus to Armor Class equal to 1 plus the Base Spells level (Epic Spells get a +11 Bonus).

Base Attack/Grapple: Recalculate based on new Hit Dice total and size.

Attacks: Unchanged

Special Attacks: The Awakened Spell keeps none of the Special Attacks of the Base Creature. Instead it gains the following:

Johnny One Spell (Sp): The Awakened Spell may cast the spell it used to be as a Spell Like Ability. In other words an Awakened Magic Missile may cast Magic Missile. If any Metamagic Feats were used while the spell that would eventually come to life was being cast their effects are included. In other words if our Awakened Spell were a Heightened Magic Missile, it would cast Heightened Magic Missiles. The Living Spell may cast this spell a certain number of times per day depending on the original spells level (0: At will, 1-3: 5 times per day, 4-6: 3 times per day, 7-9: Once per day, Epic: Once per week. If the original spell was cast with Metamagic Feats and used a higher level spell slot because of this, the spell is considered to be that spell.  In other words if the spell was a 3rd level spell like Fireball and it was maximized with the Maximize Spell Feat, it is considered a 6th level spell.). Caster level is the Awakened Spells Effective Character Level.

Powerful Caster (Su):The Awakened Spells effective caster level for all Spells it can cast is equal to its Effective Character Level (i.e. Racial Hit Dice + Character Levels + Level Adjustment).

Special Qualities: The Awakened Spell keeps none of the Special Qualities of the Base Creature and instead gains the following:

Magic Resistance: The Awakened Spell has a Racial bonus to all Saving Throws equal to the Base Spell Level (0 level Spells receive no Bonus, Epic Spells get a +10).

Spell Resistance: The Awakened Spell has Spell Resistance equal to 15 plus its Base Spell Level (+10 for Epic Spells) plus its Charisma modifier.

Immunities (Ex): The Awakened Spell is Immune to poison, paralysis, disease, age/sleep/death effects, stunning, polymorph, fatigue, or exhaustion. Awakened Spells do not eat, sleep. or age.

Dark Vision: Range is 60'

Arcane Body (Su): The Awakened Spell retains any Subtypes the Base spell had. For example Awakened spells with the Fire and Evil Descriptors gain the Fire and Evil Subtypes. Certain effects such as Dispel Magic or Antimagic Fields cause Awakened Spells problems. Dispel Magic effects the Awakened Spell in a manner similar to the Clerics Turn Undead ability. The Arcane Caster must do a Targeted Dispel Magic, and then rolls 1d20 plus his Charisma modifier to see how powerful an Awakened spell he can effect (use the Turning Undead table on page 159 of the Players Handbook). If the Awakened Spell is within the range of effect the caster then rolls 2d6 + caster level + Charisma modifier. If this equals or exceeds the Awakened Spells Hit Dice, it is affected in the exact same manner as Turn Undead effects the Undead. If the opponent casting Dispel Magic was the caster who originally cast the Base Spell that has become an Awakened Spell he/she gets a +4 Circumstance Bonus on both rolls. If an Awakened Spell enters an Antimagic Field it must make a Fortitude Save each round it is in it (DC:10 + 1/2 opponent casters level + opponent casters Charisma bonus) or take 1 point of Constitution damage each round it is in the Field. The Awakened Spell may also be modified depending on whether Metamagic feats were used when casting the Base spell (see Notes below). If Detect Magic is used on an Awakened Spell it radiates an aura like any normal spell of its type.

Sense Creator (Su): An Awakened Spell always knows exactly where the caster who created it is as long as they are both on the same Plane of existence. It also knows whether the caster is alive, dead, or undead.

Limited Repertoire: The Awakened Spells may only take class levels in the same spellcasting class as their creator and any Prestige Classes it allows them to qualify for (i.e. a spell that was cast by a Wizard becomes a Wizard).

Abilities: The Awakened Spells Int, Wis, and Cha are 10 + Base Spells Level. The Physical attributes are the same as the base Creature, modified for its possible new Size Class (see page 291 of the Monster Manual). The Awakened Spells primary casting stat gets another +2.

Skills: The Awakened Spell gets (2+Int modifer) skill points per level with 4 times that for the first level. Class skills are Concentration, Hide, Move Silently, Spellcraft, and Use Magic Device.

Feats: In addition to the Feats it would normally receive (i.e. one every 3 hit dice plus one at first level), the Living Spell receives any metamagic Feats used in the casting that created it.

Environment: Any

Organization: Solitary

Challenge Rating: CR now depends on the level of the Base Spell: 0-3: +2, 4-9: +3, Epic: +4, and add +1 for every 4 Hit Dice

Alignment: Unchanged.

Level Adjustment: Level Adjustment depends on the level of the Base Spell: 0-1: +3, 2-3: +4, 4: +5, 5: +6, 7-9: +7, Epic: +8

Notes: Some Awakened spells can take certain racial Feats depending on what Metamagic Feat was used in their creation.


Empowered Smite
Take that hooligans!!
 Prerequisites: Awakened Spell created with Empowered Spell Metamagic Feat, must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits: 3 times per day when casting a spell your Caster Level is considered 4 levels higher for purposes of Caster level checks to overcome Spell Resistance.  This stacks with Feats like Spell Penetration.
will return to

Hulking Spell
Greetings puny mortal
 Prerequisites: Awakened Spell created with Enlarge Spell Metamagic Feat, must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits 3 times per day the Awakened spell can become 1 Size class bigger for 3 rounds plus 1 round per point of Charisma Modifier.

Personal Spell
How do you like my Mage Armor?
 Prerequisites: Awakened Spell created with Extend Spell Metamagic Feat, must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits Once per day you may cast any 1 spell with a Range of Personal, and it lasts for 24 hours.

Wide Load
I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
 Prerequisites: Awakened Spell created with Widen Spell Metamagic Feat, must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits The Awakened Spell has the Powerful Build ability, and it's weight is one and a half times greater.

Fast Spell
Take the spell component from my hand grasshopper.
 Prerequisites: Awakened Spell created with Quicken Spell Metamagic Feat, must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits The Awakened Spell gains a +4 Bonus to Initiative checks.  This stacks with Improved Initiative and similar Feats.

Quiet Spell
Sneaky Sneakies...
 Prerequisites: Awakened Spell created with Silent Spell Metamagic Feat, must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits 3 times per day the Awakened Spell can take 10 on a Move Silently skill check.


Example Living Spell
Base Creature: Dwarf Sorcerer
Base Spell: Leomunds Tiny Hut
Note: Physical stats were all 10 plus racial bonuses

Jabberer the Hut
Small Aberration
Hit Dice: 4d8+4 (22 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+4 Deflection), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-2
Attack: By Weapon +2
Full Attack: By Weapon +2
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Johnny One Spell (Leomund's Tiny Hut 5/day), Powerful Natural Caster
Special Qualities: Spell Resistance 14, Immunities, Dark Vision 60', Arcane Body, Sense Creator
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +7
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 13
Skills: Concentration +8, Hide +7, Listen +3, Move Silently +4, Spellcraft +9, Spot +3, Use Magic Device +8
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Any
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None currently
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Advancement: Wizard Levels only
Level Adjustment: +4

[AstralFire]

Before I plunge into it, may I ask why you made this with the living spell template around? I presume there was something the living spell template failed to do well for you, but not being familiar with monsters I couldn't guess what it is without actually popping open the book.

[bhu]

Before I plunge into it, may I ask why you made this with the living spell template around? I presume there was something the living spell template failed to do well for you, but not being familiar with monsters I couldn't guess what it is without actually popping open the book.

The living spell template makes unintelligent oozes.  This template is for sentient spells

[bhu]

Martian Template

Martian is an inherited template that can be applied to any Aberration, Animal, Dragon, Fey, Giant, Humanoid, Magical Beast, Monstrous Humanoid, or Vermin.

Size and Type: All subtypes are kept, type changes to Aberration if it isn't already. Size remains the same if the base creature is an aberration. It goes down 1 Size Class if it's a Fey or Humanoid. It goes up 1 Size Class if it's anything else.

Hit Dice: Hit Dice change to d8's if they aren't already. If it goes down a Size class it loses 1 racial hit die. If it goes up a size class it gains 2 hit dice.

Speed: Unchanged unless size class changes. If size class goes down base speed is -10 feet. If it goes up base speed is +10 feet.

Armor Class: Unchanged unless size class changes (see page 291 of the Monster Manual).

Attacks: Unchanged. If size class changes don't forget the new size modifier.

Damage: Unchanged unless size class changes (see page 291 of the Monster Manual).

Special Attacks: The Martian keeps all Special Attacks of the base creature except the following: If the base creatures entry says it can cast spells as an x level caster, replace that with "it can manifest psionic powers as an x level manifester". Primary manifesting stat is Intelligence if the base creature was a Aberration, Dragon, Fey, Humanoid, Giant, or Monstrous Humanoid. Otherwise it's Wisdom. If the base creature has spell like abilities replace them with similar Psi-Like abilities. If there are no similar Psionic Powers, replace it with Powers of the same level. Power Points are same as a Psion of the same level. Martians have a minimum of 1 Power Point per hit die even if they do not have Psionics or Psi-Like abilities.

Special Qualities: The Martian retains all Special Qualities of the base creature except the following: Spell Resistance is replaced with Power Resistance. If the base creature was Mindless (i.e. Vermin) it loses that and now gains skills and Feats according to it's Hit Dice. The Martian is also well equipped to survive in the desert requiring only one quarter as much water as the base creature. It also has a +4 Racial bonus on Fortitude Saves against Dehydration. If the creature is Aquatic it becomes Amphibious gaining a land speed equal to half its Swim speed.

Saves: Saves must be recalculated, Willpower is now the only Good Save.

Abilities: If size class changes add those modifiers (see page 291 of the Monster Manual). The Base creature also gets +2 Intelligence and Wisdom. If the base creatures Intelligence is less than 8, it raises to a 10.

Skills: Skills must be recalculated for racial levels. The Martian gets (2 + Intelligence modifier) skill points per Hit Die, with X4 points for the first Hit Die. Class skills are the same as the base creature plus Autohypnosis and Concentration.

Feats: Gains Heat Endurance, Improved Heat Endurance, and 1 Psionic Feat as Bonus Feats. If the base creature no longer qualifies for 1 of it's feats (for example Weapon Finesse because it lost it's dex to to Size Increase) the Psionic Feat replaces that instead. Metamagic Feats (or Feats modifying Spell Like Abilities) are converted to similar Metapsionic Feats instead.

Environment: Warm Desert (or Warm Aquatic if Aquatic)

Alignment: Usually unchanged, but sometimes leans towards Chaotic Neutral.

Organization: Unchanged

Treasure: Unchanged

Challenge Rating: +1

Advancement: Unchanged

Level Adjustment: +1

Martians are native to a dry red desert country called Mars (it's part of my silly campaign). They are like the native species of other places except that they are all uniformly bright green, hairless, with antennae and large red eyes. They also usually have no nose, pointy ears, and a bulbous head (mostly because hey all have some minor psionic ability). All believe of themselves that they are the only true Martians, and all the other species are poor copies, only to be associated with to conquer non-natives. Oh yes and they all have a psychotic desire to rule the rest of the world.  it makes their politics quite interesting.


Example: Martian Aranea

Empress Moonpie
Large Aberration (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 5d8+20 (43 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 60 ft. (12 squares), 35 ft. climb
Armor Class: 13 (-1 Size,+1 Dex, +3 Natural ), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+11
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d8+4 plus poison) or web +4 ranged
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d8+4 plus poison) or web +4 ranged
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Poison, Psionics, Web
Special Qualities: Change Shape, Dark Vision 60', Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities: Str 19, Dex 13, Con 18, Int 16, Wis 15, Cha 14
Skills: Autohypnosis +10, Climb +18, Concentration +10, Escape Artist +6, Jump +17, Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Heat Endurance (B), Improved Heat Endurance (B)
Environment: Warm Desert
Organization: Solitary or Colony (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: Standard Coins, double goods, standard items
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: +5

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude DC 16, initial damage 1d6 Str, secondary damage 2d6 Str. Save is Constitution based.

Web (Ex): Unchanged from regular Aranea stat block.

Psionics: Empress Moonpie manifests psionic powers as a 3rd level manifester, primary manifesting stat is Wisdom.

Change Shape (Su): Unchanged from regular Aranea Stat block, except the humanoid form is a Martian humanoid.

Skills: Aranea's have a +2 racial bonus on Jump, Listen, and Spot checks. They have a +8 Racial bonus on Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check (even if threatened or endangered).


Empress Moonpie is your average Martian spider woman, newly hatched and ready to vie for her throne.  Technically she's currently only one of dozens of princesses, but once she ascends by murdering all her sisters, (and of course, Mom) she can begin her dreams of world conquest. 

Unfortunately all her sisters have the same dream.

And her guards.

And her maids.

Even her pet bug-thing wants to rule the world.  It makes life tedious...

[AstralFire]

Okay, I like that one. That's pretty awesome.

[bhu]

Okay, I like that one. That's pretty awesome.

Thanks much!

Got a big bunch of mutant mindflayers coming up next.

[bhu]

Mindflayer, Carnal (not what you're thinking sicko monkeys)
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 10d8+30 (75 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+16
Attack: Tentacle +11 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: 4 Tentacles +11 melee (1d6+5)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Mind Blast, Psionic Powers, Improved Grab, Extract
Special Qualities: Power Resistance 25, Telepathy 100 ft.
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +9
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 17, Wis 15, Cha 19
Skills: Bluff +9, Concentration +9, Diplomacy +9, Intimidate +0, Knowledge (Psionics) +9, Listen +9, Move Silently +8, Psicraft +8, Sense Motive +9, Spot +9, Use Psionic Device +9
Feats:  Alertness, Combat Manifestation, Improved Initiative, Overchannel (Combat manifestation and Overchannel are found i nthe Expanded Psionics Handbook)
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, Pair, Cult (3-6 plus 5-10 servants), or City (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: Double Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: +8


"Something about the Mindflayer in front of you seems a little off somehow.    Maybe it's the nipple rings, or the leather dog collar, or the way it keeps staring at you, but something is waaaaay off..."

When first kidnapped and brought to the Jester's Realm the Mindflayer's were in a bit of a pickle.  They were cut off from their God, the Elder Brains, and their entire society.  They also seemed to be stricken by some sort of disease, and their tadpoles were failing.  It was becoming obvious that they would no longer be able to reproduce by ceremorphosis.  Something needed to be done.  So the experimentation began, and eventually success was achieved at a horrible price.  They now reproduced by the traditional method: having children.  The accompanying changes also partially broke their minds driving them into mild lunacy.  The resulting Mindflayers are much bigger than usual, and bulkier.  They don't require eating brains to live, but are still addicted to them.  While their society still (vaguely) resembles that of their ancestors, their newly Chaotic nature makes predicting what they will do or dealing with them an exercise in extreme patience.  One might believe he is lord of the world (despite all evidence to the contrary).  One might be obsessed with convincing pert young drow boys that joining her harem is a normal rite of passage for all drow men (really she swears).  One might think that fire is the solution to all of life's problems (many of which are also coincidentally cause by his constantly setting fires).  All of them are obsessed with slavery.  Mostly to have minions to babysit their slavering carnivorous offspring (The Mindflayers haven't taken to parenting well). Carnal Mindflayers are usually at least 8' tall, and at least 500 lbs. They still speak Undercommon.

Psionic Powers: A Carnal Mindflayer manifests psionic powers as an 10th level Wilder. Save DC's are Charisma based.

Mind Blast (Su): This Psionic attack is a 60' Cone.  Anything in it must make a DC 19 Willpower Save or be Confused for 3d4 rounds. The Save DC is Charisma Based.  This power is the equivalent of a 4th level spell.

Improved Grab (Ex):  If the Mindflayer hits a Small, Medium, Large, or Huge creature with it's tentacle attack it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it can attempt to attach its remaining tentacles with a single Grapple check.  The opponent can make a Grapple or Escape Artist Check to escape, but the Mindflayer gets a +2 Circumstance Bonus for every tentacle that was attached at the beginning of the opponents turn.

Extract (Ex): A Mindflayer that begins it's turn with all 4 tentacles attached to an opponent and that makes a successful Grapple Check extracts it's opponents brain killing it instantly.  This power is not instantly fatal to creatures with multiple heads, and it does not work on Constructs, Elementals, Oozes, Plants, and Undead.

Combat: Carnal Mindflayers are an unpredictable bunch.  Each one is an individual and has their own fighting style they prefer.

[AstralFire]

Mindflayer, Carnal (not what you're thinking sicko monkeys)

Maybe it's the nipple rings, or the leather dog collar, or the way it keeps staring at you

One might be obsessed with convincing pert young drow boys that joining her harem is a normal rite of passage for all drow men (really she swears).

Uh-huh.

[bhu]

Mindflayer, Carnal (not what you're thinking sicko monkeys)

Maybe it's the nipple rings, or the leather dog collar, or the way it keeps staring at you

One might be obsessed with convincing pert young drow boys that joining her harem is a normal rite of passage for all drow men (really she swears).

Uh-huh.

 

[bhu]

Mindflayer Childer, Carnal
Small Aberration
Hit Dice: 2d8 (9 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-4
Attack: Tentacle +4 melee (1d3-1)
Full Attack: 4 Tentacles +4 melee (1d3-1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Mind Blast, Psionic Powers, Improved Grab, Extract
Special Qualities: Power Resistance 10, Telepathy 30 ft.
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +1
Abilities: Str 8, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 13
Skills: Hide +7, Listen +5, Move Silently +4, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Horde (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 2??
Treasure: None
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: ---

"You hear kind of a gurgling sound followed by crying up ahead around the corner as well as some unidentified tearing sound.  You round the bend just in time to see dozens of what look like baby Mindflayers ripping their way out of large, leathery eggs.  They look at you in stunned surprise before charging, and falling down because their legs aren't quite steady yet.  You flee after pooping yourself."

Carnal Mind Flayer children are surprisingly intelligent for their age, but mostly feral. While they can understand Undercommon they can't quite speak it yet, nor do they have the patience or craftiness of an adult. They travel in mobs eating alive anything they encounter (even possibly each other). Those that make it to young adulthood are taught the Mindflayer ways.  Childer are about the same size as a Halfling.

Psionic Powers: A Carnal Mindflayer Childer manifests psionic powers as an 2nd level Wilder. Save DC's are Charisma based.

Mind Blast (Su): This Psionic attack is a 30' Cone. Anything in it must make a DC 12 Willpower Save or be Confused for 2d4 rounds. The Save DC is Charisma Based. This power is the equivalent of a 4th level spell.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Mindflayer hits a Small or Smaller creature with it's tentacle attack it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it can attempt to atatch its remaining tentacles with a single Grapple check. The opponent can make a Grapple or Escape Artist Check to escape, but the Mindflayer gets a +2 Circumstance Bonus for every tentacle that was attached at the beginning of the opponents turn.

Extract (Ex): A Mindflayer that begins it's turn with all 4 tentacles attached to an opponent and that makes a successful Grapple Check extracts it's opponents brain killing it instantly. This power is not instantly fatal to creatures with multiple heads, and it does not work on Constructs, Elementals, Oozes, Plants, and Undead.

Combat: Mindflayer kids aren't subtle, and they definitely aren't tactical geniuses.  Usually their idea of fighting consists of charging anything they outnumber, fleeing anything they don't (or thats to big), and mobbing or blasting the crap out of everything else.