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jojolagger
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« Reply #860 on: September 27, 2011, 11:31:10 PM » |
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The crystal Cusic is carrying transmits to both Cusic and Bawb. Someone with lazer eyes would be very useful. How would you feel about working with one of those adventurer guilds?
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Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97 When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1  Quotes In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D. *sigh* There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse! When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.
But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #861 on: September 27, 2011, 11:33:58 PM » |
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The comment on the zombie is what makes Zach perk his ears up. "I can take care of that for you, on the side, as a gesture of good will. Talk to Ceushareth here about your man, please tell ME more about this zombie monk. Like, where he most likely is at this given moment?" Zach has that blooding look in his eyes, and a wicked grin on his face as he contemplates the many ways of making the zombies day miserable and short lived.
She squints at you with bloodshot eyes. "You've got squirrels. There's one on your shoulder. He's swearing I think." "Gawddamn right I'm swearin'. What's a man gotta do to get a drink 'round here?" |
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #862 on: September 27, 2011, 11:36:57 PM » |
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As per usual Cusic's memory is only great enough for her to catch the last part of a conversation...
"Laser eyes! AWESOME. I mostly stab things with my pointy thing..."
"Wish I had hands so I could stab people with pointy things. Only reason I can drink is cause I bought this Ioun Shot Glass. It follows me around so I can get meh free hootch!"  |
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #863 on: September 27, 2011, 11:38:53 PM » |
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The crystal Cusic is carrying transmits to both Cusic and Bawb. Someone with lazer eyes would be very useful. How would you feel about working with one of those adventurer guilds?
"Holy crap yer jewelry talks. I dunno if that zombie messes up teh union too bad I might consider it. I got too many friends and relatives in teh Union to just leave 'em for the other side like that." |
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Flay Crimsonwind
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« Reply #864 on: September 28, 2011, 01:07:59 AM » |
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Zach gives a courteous nod to the squirrel; "Apologies, ser. I can assure you, we'll enter momentarily, but this is incredibly important business. If you'd like to go in ahead of me, feel free.... and by the way, I really should have a proper discussion and introduction with you all soon. Like I said, one moment and I will be free."
Turning back to the medusa, "So sorry, where were we? Oh, yes, where might I find this zombie troublemaker? And what trouble is he starting?"
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #865 on: September 28, 2011, 01:25:10 AM » |
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"Lil dead fuckers boss got killed by a Gawd, so he inherited a fat chunk of his money. Which is a nice way of saying he stole a shitload of money and magic whatevers and set up shop in the sewers where the law won't go to get him. Now he wants to carry out his former bosses quest for world domination by co-opting the Union. We don't get involved with megalomaniacs except taking their money to guard their stuff, cause we know it's ours once they die. Part of the Union contract. Normally the Union wouldn't have anything to do with it but he's managed to influence management, and they're firing anyone who stands up to him."
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jojolagger
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« Reply #866 on: September 28, 2011, 02:08:18 AM » |
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I would appear Benny left a loose end there. Lucky, I have an idea how we might deal with whichever recurring zombie it is. Got the idea from a traveling gnome back home. We could probably off him with just 3000 gp of supplies. 
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Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97 When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1 Quotes In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D. *sigh* There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse! When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.
But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
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Flay Crimsonwind
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« Reply #867 on: September 28, 2011, 03:12:06 AM » |
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"With all due respect, I can do it for a lot less. I'll deal with what I know, Ceus, and you can help our fine lady here.
"One last question, ma'am; does the Union have a specific location?"
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RobbyPants
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« Reply #868 on: September 28, 2011, 09:36:33 AM » |
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"Well most of our employers are insane lunatics hellbent on world domination who burn out and get killed by Adventurer's Guilds. Were sort of a temp service. When our boss gets wiped out the Union finds us another boss. Plus we get one free drink a day at various local bars paid for by teh union to help us unwind. It's a high stress job. But I get to shoot people with my eye lasers!"
"Hmm... Free drinks? Not bad..." |
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My balancing 3.5 compendiumElemental mage test gameQuotesIt is a shame stupidity isn't painful. Totally true. Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment. Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?" I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife. A dull, rusty knife. A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife. Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: **** I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet. When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!" Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #869 on: September 28, 2011, 02:40:01 PM » |
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I would appear Benny left a loose end there. Lucky, I have an idea how we might deal with whichever recurring zombie it is. Got the idea from a traveling gnome back home. We could probably off him with just 3000 gp of supplies. "If too many of us lose our job we may be willing to scrape together the money, or try to reach an installment agreement. It'll be difficult you being traditionally on the other side though." |
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #870 on: September 28, 2011, 02:45:18 PM » |
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"With all due respect, I can do it for a lot less. I'll deal with what I know, Ceus, and you can help our fine lady here.
"One last question, ma'am; does the Union have a specific location?"
"Here's our business card." It's a scroll "This lists our locations and places of business. You should be able to find an official rep here, but I doubt many will help you finding that dead asshole." Bawb: "Give one to the catgirl too.  If I ever get a self levitating spear like I wanna she can teach me to stab with it." The bartender peeks out the door "BAWB! QUIT HITTING ON THE HUMANOIDS IT'S EMBARRASSING." Bawb: "I'M NOT HITTING ON HER DAD, I'M TRYING MAKE FRIENDS! IT'S NOT LIKE ALL MY JOB FRIENDS KEEP DYIN'!: Old skwirl: "If I don't get some nut likker in the next few minutes I'm burnin' this shithole to tha ground." |
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Flay Crimsonwind
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« Reply #871 on: September 28, 2011, 07:47:45 PM » |
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He takes the scroll calmly, tucking it into a sleeve. "We shall deal with it in some small time, then. I thank you, Miss...?" He pauses, in a small bow, but with his face turned up as if asking her name. He might be ronin, but old habits die hard, and he could still be polite to employers, especially if they were women.
As soon as she responds, or ignores him, one way or the other, he turns to the squirrel. "And I thank you for your patience in this matter. Come, let us introduce ourselves properly." An old squirrel and a dishonored samurai walk into a bar...
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #872 on: September 28, 2011, 11:01:10 PM » |
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After Flay walks into the bar "Why can't the armored one remember my name if you people are the ones I originally contracted with?
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Monotremeancer
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« Reply #873 on: September 29, 2011, 02:00:12 PM » |
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Bill makes sure to follow Zach out of the room, glad for an opportunity to leave without openly offending the medusa. When he thinks she can't hear, he exhales deeply
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Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #874 on: September 29, 2011, 03:06:44 PM » |
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Bill makes sure to follow Zach out of the room, glad for an opportunity to leave without openly offending the medusa. When he thinks she can't hear, he exhales deeply
You open your eyes form exhaling to stare deeply into those of a short stubby demonoid critter "Holy fuck, what the Hell are you supposed ta be?" |
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Monotremeancer
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« Reply #875 on: September 29, 2011, 03:45:04 PM » |
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Bill makes sure to follow Zach out of the room, glad for an opportunity to leave without openly offending the medusa. When he thinks she can't hear, he exhales deeply
You open your eyes form exhaling to stare deeply into those of a short stubby demonoid critter "Holy fuck, what the Hell are you supposed ta be?" Bill extends his furry little hand to the critter Pleasure to meet you. Who might you be, mate? |
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Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #876 on: September 29, 2011, 06:01:20 PM » |
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"I'm Ted. I used ta eat souls but I got karmic freedom from my Plane of Origin when I got kidnapped here and now I'm a basketweaver. So what convinced you to ry out for an Adventurer's Guild?"
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Sir Shadow
Ring-Tailed Lemur
Posts: 32
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« Reply #877 on: September 29, 2011, 07:10:46 PM » |
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"You eat souls? I eat sou--er, soup! Yea... kind of like souls... but with a 'p'. Yea. Right... Isn't basketweaving kinda... boring?"
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bhu
Moderator
Organ Grinder
Posts: 6783
Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
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« Reply #878 on: September 29, 2011, 09:22:07 PM » |
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"You ever made a basket for an anthropophagous giantess?"
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Sir Shadow
Ring-Tailed Lemur
Posts: 32
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« Reply #879 on: September 29, 2011, 10:07:51 PM » |
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"An Antholopo-- an Anthropomo-- an Apopou-- No."
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